


Lock and Key

by UngratefulSatisfaction



Series: Gnosis of Self [3]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Internalized Homophobia, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Mostly Canon Compliant, Power Play, Rare Pairings, Secret Relationship, Taeyong is a mom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-01
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-07-23 04:29:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16151627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UngratefulSatisfaction/pseuds/UngratefulSatisfaction
Summary: “Taeyong Hyung is just worried. Honestly, I’m worried,” Mark says.“People get depressed. He’s fine. Everything is fine, Hyung.” Renjun hugs his knees to his chest and rests his chin on them.“You’re worried too, aren’t you?” Renjun can only answer with silence. Mark moves closer and wraps his arm around Renjun, pulling him close. “Are you sure it isn’t a problem?”“I don’t know,” Renjun admits.~~In which Yuta is anxious with the thought of coming out to his members as he tries to handle his not-relationship with Renjun. A coming-of-age (sort of) for Yuta and Renjun.(Sequel to ‘If You Don’t Do It You’ll Lose’)Mature for strong/sexual language and some pretty heavy make-out sessions. See Notes for details.





	Lock and Key

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for continuing in this series and choosing to read this!
> 
> Warning: there is more graphic depictions of sexual things than the previous parts, though there is still no sex.
> 
> Warning: there is reference and vague discussion of rape, but no actual rape. All the sexual-type acts are fully consensual, though a certain person makes the mistake thinking one instance wasn’t.

Maybe Yuta is being paranoid. Three months have passed since the big coming out party and he’s for certain that the question of the fourth and fifth is on everyone’s mind. It has to be. Renjun tells him he’s being too paranoid, but he digresses. 

“Hyung, chill,” Renjun says. Yuta glances at him on his stomach across the blankets looking at his phone. Yuta knows Renjun didn’t even look away from his phone before saying that. He’s leaning against the wall, legs stretched out beside Renjun and his own phone in his hands, though it auto-locked several minutes ago. 

“Shut up,” Yuta says with no bite. “You haven’t even looked at me in the last half-hour.”

“Because I’m trying to beat Chenle at this dumb game,” Renjun says. “What, are you jealous?” Renjun smirks, flashing his now perfect teeth. 

“You’re the one bothering me,” Yuta retorts. “Telling me to chill without even paying me attention.”

“So you are jealous,” Renjun concludes. Yuta frowns and watches Renjun finish out whatever game the kids are playing nowadays. A few minutes later Renjun puts his phone down on the pillow and props himself up on his elbows. Yuta’s breath catches at how cute he is looking up at him through his bangs. “What’s bothering you?”

“Nothing,” Yuta says unconvincingly. 

“It’s closet anxiety,” Renjun says leveling with his gaze.

“Shut up,” Yuta says harshly. “You don’t even know what it’s like. You only figured out you weren’t straight _after_ you found out your closest friends would accept you. You haven’t had the fear for decades.” Renjun is unfazed. This conversation follows the same format of their last several conversations.

They didn’t spend a lot of time alone together for the first month afterwards, promotions for _Empathy_ stealing away most of their time. With 127 going to Japan and then America afterwards, there just weren’t a lot of chances to meet alone. But Yuta has been anxious the entire time. Even with being able to promote in his native language and in theory having an easier time, the anxiety has been obvious to all the members. Once or twice Taeyong sequestered Yuta to try and console and came back empty handed. And once he noticed how close Yuta and Renjun have gotten, he started asking Renjun to tell him what’s wrong with Yuta.

“Yuta Hyung,” Renjun says forcefully. “I get it. But like you said, they’re accepting. The only thing that’s changed is now the others joke about random guys being a possible boyfriend for Doyoung instead of girls like they do for everyone else. Why would coming out ruin your friendship with anyone?”

“I don’t think it will.” Renjun sighs and checks his phone. Yuta can see him messaging Chenle when the door opens.

“Oh, hey,” Mark says awkwardly as he walks in. Renjun waves and gives him a smile before turning back to his phone nonchalantly. Yuta’s hands are shaking from the pure nerves. He obviously didn’t hear what they were talking about because Mark doesn’t know how to lie, and his demeanor doesn’t betray knowing any secrets right now. But Yuta’s heart rate still quickens. “I didn’t know you were over here.” 

“The teacher released me from my Korean lessons early,” Renjun says.

“Why’d you come over here?” Mark asks with a laugh. He sits down on his bed with a notebook and pencil, probably coming in here to find some quiet and write lyrics.

“Don’t overreact Mark,” Yuta says. Renjun rolls his eyes and they laugh lightly at Yuta’s teasing.

“Yuta Hyung wanted to practice Chinese,” Renjun lies. “But he’s just moping and not listening.”

“Why? What’s wrong?” Mark asks concerned. Renjun smiles innocently at Yuta who playfully pushes his head away.

“Shut up,” Yuta whines. “Nothing. I’m fine.”

“Well… Taeyong Hyung mentioned being worried about you,” Mark says uncertainly. Renjun almost wants to laugh. Mark tries to mitigate similar situations amongst the Dream kids, but it always fails. 

“Just stress,” Renjun answers smoothly. He knows Yuta will not budge right now from the silence he gives Mark. “Probably a little lonely, which is why he called me over here just to lay on his bed to make him feel important.” Mark finds it funny, but Yuta pushes him hard enough he falls off the bed.

Renjun is still laughing when his body hits the floor, shortly followed by his phone which painfully lands on his ribs. “Ouch,” Renjun says between laughter. Yuta rolls his eyes and ducks his head in shame. He doesn’t know why he reacted like that to Renjun’s words. But it sounded too risky with Mark watching them. It only fuels his paranoia.

"Wow, that was harsh,” Mark says. Renjun slinks over to Mark’s bed and throws himself on the empty spot by his feet.

“Yuta Hyung doesn’t love me anymore,” Renjun bemoans. Mark pats Renjun’s stomach. 

“It’s okay bro, I love you.” Mark and Renjun are fighting laughter, and Yuta is just watching them with an unreadable expression. Renjun sits up next to Mark. He winks at Yuta before dramatically attaching himself to Mark.

“My new favorite Hyung,” Renjun says greasily. Mark was startled at first, but he laughs along like he understands the joke. Yuta has no reaction. Because Renjun’s chin is on Mark’s shoulder, it’s so easy to turn his head and brush his lips against his cheek. 

Mark pushes him away slightly, always less than a fan of skinship. “What, are you Donghyuk now?” Mark jokes as he detangles himself. Renjun allows himself to fall away. When he checks Yuta’s reaction, he sees the elder stand up and leave.

“Hyung,” Renjun calls but he’s already out the door. Renjun frowns and the joking atmosphere dissolves.

“Is he okay?” Mark asks seriously. Renjun shrugs. 

“Don’t know. Sorry for bothering you.”

“Honestly, he’s been weird recently,” Mark says. “Has he said anything to you?” 

“Did Taeyong Hyung tell you to ask me that?” Mark’s eyes betray him as he tries to keep a solemn face.

“Well, like… has he said anything?”

“It’s nothing serious,” Renjun says. “He’s just working through some stuff.”

“Okay,” Mark says uncertainly. “I hope he’s okay. Honestly, I’m not used to seeing him so moody.”

“It’ll pass,” Renjun assures. “Right now, he just needs support.” Mark looks at him strangely and Renjun wonders if he said too much. “I’m going to go see where he ran off to.” Mark wishes him well as he leaves.

In the hallway he runs into Taeil. “Yuta is in the kitchen,” Taeil says instead of greeting him. Renjun is startled, but thanks him none the less. He ruffles Renjun’s hair when he passes by and calls him cute.

He goes through the common room to get to the kitchen. He sees a few members on the couches who all give him some phrase about where Yuta is. Renjun mutters thanks and bows his head. 

In the kitchen, he sees Johnny first. “Hey, what’s up,” Renjun greets Johnny in English. He’s up on the counter eating fruit from a bowl. Yuta is rummaging through the fridge. When Renjun spoke, he gave a glance, but Yuta quickly ignores him.

“What’s up?” Johnny asks matching him. 

“Nothing much,” Renjun says with a shrug.

"You want some?” He holds the bowl out and Renjun nods his head. He pulls himself up onto the counter next to Johnny and lets Johnny feed him a piece of pineapple. “So to what  
do we owe your company today?” It takes a while for Renjun to place the phrase.

“I’m bored,” Renjun answers. “I am free for the afternoon.”

“You had classes this morning?” Renjun nods his head. He likes talking with Johnny. He indulges his members in English and doesn’t tease them, even if they aren’t perfect. It’s comforting, especially when Yuta is a source of stress.

Yuta is done going through the fridge. He pulls back empty handed and sighs. “How about some fruit?” Johnny asks in Korean. Renjun holds out a cored strawberry, enticing Yuta to come. 

He sees the expressions crossing Yuta’s eyes irreverently. He’s still upset, but he sets it aside to play nice since Johnny is here. “Sure.” Yuta smiles like everything is normal and crosses to Renjun. He takes the strawberry from his hands and pops it in his mouth. Despite him taking the peace offering, Renjun frowns. If anyone else was offering, Yuta would have just eaten straight from his hand.

“Anyway, since you said you’re free for the afternoon,” Johnny says casually. Renjun wonders if he’s oblivious to the tension, or if he’s aware and choosing to ignore it. “We’re going to watch a movie later—a couple of us: me, Mark, Taeyong, Taeil Hyung, Winwin, and Haechan.”

“What movie?” Renjun asks around a piece of watermelon. He vaguely ponders when the fruit was cut since it has all melded into a single tropical flavor. 

“Some American action movie Mark picked out,” Johnny answers. “I forget the name.”

“I’ll watch it,” Yuta says. 

“Me too,” Renjun says. He still has an agenda with Yuta. 

“There are Korean subtitles, right?” Yuta asks.

“Nah, this is torture from the company to improve our English,” Johnny jokes. Yuta rolls his eyes and forces a smile.

“What time?” Johnny shrugs.

“I don’t know. Maybe in an hour or so? I still have to ask Doyoung and Jaehyun.” He looks at the bowl forlornly. “But I don’t want to get up.”

“I’ll go ask,” Renjun offers. Johnny smiles and slings his arm around Renjun’s shoulder for a rough hug. 

“Thanks,” Johnny says. Renjun brushes it off and slides down to the floor. When he walks behind Yuta, he skates a hand across his upper back. Yuta’s muscles tense beneath his fingers, but Johnny is too focused on digging through pieces of fruit to notice. 

He finds Doyoung and Jaehyun in their room. Jaehyun sits on his bed with his laptop. Doyoung is checking his reflection and putting on a hat. “Are you going somewhere, Hyung?” Renjun asks. Jaehyun looks up from his laptop and greets him.

“I need to go get more medicine,” Doyoung says. He frowns and chooses a different hat.

“Johnny Hyung said him and the other 127 Hyungs are going to watch a movie later. Do you want to join?”

“Why not?” Jaehyun says with a shrug. 

“I’ll think about it,” Doyoung says enigmatically. He finally is pleased with his appearance, hat and mask on, and he turns to look at Renjun. “Do you want to come with me?” Doyoung asks.

“Sure,” Renjun says. Doyoung gives him a small, proud smile.

“Singers need to take care of their voices,” he concurs. He sticks the hat he rejected earlier on Renjun’s head and leads him out of the room.

Doyoung tells the members in the common room where they’re going on the way out. Renjun lets Doyoung thread their hands together as they walk. It’s been amusing recently, how all the gay hyungs are working hard to take care of and protect him. Yukhei acts like that least of all since he tends to be the one taken care of due to his shaky grasp on Korean, but every now and then he does something so explicitly described as _hyung_ that Renjun would roll his eyes if his heart didn’t flutter.

“You and Yuta Hyung have been hanging out a lot recently,” Doyoung comments. Renjun takes his hand out of Doyoung’s grasp.

“Not you too,” Renjun whines. 

“What?” Doyoung asks in mock defense. The afternoon sun is unforgiving on them and Renjun is thankful for the hat. They keep to the shade, neither of them particularly fond of getting a sunburn or heatstroke. 

“I swear, Taeyong Hyung has asked everyone to interrogate me about Yuta Hyung.” Doyoung coaxes Renjun’s hand back in to his as he responds.

“Maybe he has. But I figured that you would have something to tell me you might not be able to tell the others.” Renjun’s silence is telling.

“He’s being paranoid,” Renjun finally says. Doyoung hums encouragingly when he pauses. “He keeps worrying that the others are going to figure out he’s… It’s making him anxious.” His own nerves are jittery talking about this in public. 

“He’s gotten like this before,” Doyoung says contemplating it. “Normally it passes after a couple weeks.”

“It’s been three months,” Renjun says bitterly.

“I know. Honestly, I don’t know if it’ll pass this time.”

“Do you mean…?”

“Yeah. I don’t think he’ll get over it until he tells everyone.”

“But he’s not going to.” Doyoung shrugs and stops in front of a pharmacy.

“Let’s go in here. Yuta Hyung will either take a lot of convincing to tell everyone, or for someone to find out. And by someone, I mean everyone.”

The mundane aisles of the pharmacy take on a sinister air as Renjun considers it. “I don’t like any of those options, Hyung. I can’t handle him being so tortured for much longer and getting forced out will destroy him.”

“As much as I love him,” Doyoung says surveying all the products lined up on the shelves. “It’s his problem to deal with. I’ve been caring about this for longer than you’ve been in Korea. I don’t think I have any more energy to give a shit.”

“Hyung,” Renjun says reproachfully. Doyoung doesn’t respond, too focused on comparing throat medicines. When he has picked out medication, even offering to buy Renjun medicine for his own voice, he speaks again.

“What I’m really worried about is you,” Doyoung says seriously. Renjun hesitates to ask for an explanation until they checked out and are heading home.

“I don’t want you to have the same outlook that Yuta Hyung has,” Doyoung says. “I don’t know what made it so difficult for him to accept that part of himself. But I don’t want you to keep the same feelings.” He fixes Renjun with a serious look and grabs his shoulder when he avoids his gaze.

“Of course, Hyung,” Renjun mutters. “I’m just…” The grip on his shoulder gets sharper.

“I understand needing time to figure it out and wanting privacy, even from our members. But if you choose to not tell anyone, please do it for a reason other than fear. I don’t want you to harbor hatred for yourself.” Renjun is at a loss of words. The metallic, empty tone has him shaken. 

“Hyung…”

“Don’t become Yuta Hyung. Having hate in the same realm as love _hurts_. Believe me, if you have hate related with who you love, whether it’s about yourself or the situation, you’ll be miserable.” Doyoung’s voice softens as he finishes and Renjun swears he was about to sob, to say something damning.

“I won’t,” Renjun says. Doyoung’s hand slides down his arm to hold his hand again as he regains his composure. Renjun has no idea what Doyoung was referring to, but he also doesn’t want to know about what causes him that much stress. “I need to figure stuff out.” He takes a moment to try and lighten the mood. “What if this is all just a phase?”

“Shut up,” Doyoung says but he’s smiling. “And if you have any actual questions, feel free to ask me.”

“Jungwoo Hyung already told me that,” Renjun says.

“Okay, but I’m pretty much the leader of this sub-group,” Doyoung jokes. “I’m the most experienced, and I’m not damaged like Yuta Hyung.”

“I wouldn’t say damaged,” Renjun says defensively. 

“But I’m worried that if you get advice from Yuta Hyung his anxiety might rub off on you,” Doyoung says.

“I don’t think that’s how that works,” Renjun says. “And believe me, if I was at risk for that, it would have already happened.” He says it like a joke, but Doyoung gives him a weird look.

“What do you mean by that?” His tone makes Renjun wish he could backtrack.

“N-nothing,” Renjun says trying not to sound like he’s covering up something. “I just mean—we’ve been talking a lot. Admiring the closet together gives us a lot to talk about.” Doyoung doesn’t look convinced, but he nods and lets it go.

“Alight, no more talking about this,” Doyoung says as they enter the building. “We’re going to watch a movie and you can pretend to be as straight as you want.”

“Thanks,” Renjun says with an eyeroll.

Back at the dorm everyone is crowded in the living room. Taeyong wrestles with a streaming service to find the movie. Renjun ends up sitting between Doyoung and Yuta on the couch. It’s a tight fit and Renjun regrets how Yuta might react. 

Except he only puts a hand on Renjun’s knee, a silent forgiveness for whatever happened earlier. Renjun doesn’t even know what he was upset about, but he wonders if he can get Yuta alone later. Maybe talk about it freely and afterwards have other fun. He leans against Doyoung as he thinks it over. 

His phone vibrates as the opening credits go up and Renjun immediately checks it.

 **Osaka Prince:** what are you thinking about

Renjun snorts. He didn’t think he gave any indication to Yuta, but he doesn’t hesitate to reply.

wanna make out later **:Injeolmi**

 **Osaka Prince:** wanna make out *right now* 

? **:Injeolmi**

 **Osaka Prince:** pretend you need to go to the dream dorm 

**Osaka Prince:** then I’ll make up a reason to go with you and we can make out in your room 

Hyung I have two roommates **:Injeolmi**

think of a better plan **:Injeolmi**

**Osaka Prince:** pull the mando card again 

**Osaka Prince:** kick them out cause we have to “study” 

gross **:Injeolmi**

but ok **:Injeolmi**

“Who are you texting?” Doyoung mutters. “You’re missing the intro.” Renjun completely forgot about the movie.

“Chenle,” Renjun lies. “I got to go.” He acts put out and stands up.

“Where are you going?” Yuta asks. Renjun shrugs.

“Chenle asked to talk about something.” A couple of the others perk up at the quiet conversation. Donghyuk and Mark are concerned.

“What’s wrong?” Taeyong asks.

“Probably nothing,” Renjun says. “I think the others are out right now, so he might just be lonely.” 

“Let me go with you then,” Yuta says. “I don’t think I have patience to watch a movie right now.”

“I can go too,” Sicheng says. “If you want.”

“Nah he’s going to be burdened if I bring more than one Hyung.” There are mutters about if another member should go with them, but Renjun drags Yuta to the door. “Goodbye.”

Outside, Renjun can’t help but feel giddy. “Well done,” Yuta says quietly as they walk through the halls. 

“Yeah, but now I have to convince Chenle to talk about something,” Renjun says. “Or lie for me. But he’ll ask why.”

“We’ll figure it out,” Yuta says. “But for now…” He gives Renjun a smile that says what his words don’t. 

“For now,” Renjun says deviously. “ _You want to study Chinese_ ,” he says switching to Mandarin. Yuta blinks for a moment.

“Say that again,” Yuta demands. Renjun laughs and repeats a bit slower. “ _Yeah. Study_ ,” Yuta answers confidently.

“Not too hard, though,” Renjun jokes. He laughs with Yuta before trying to be more serious. “But about earlier… What were you upset about?”

He sees Yuta frown out of the corner of his eye. Renjun lets him have a moment of silence before responding. “I don’t know.”

“You weren’t jealous, were you?” Renjun asks despite already knowing the answer.

“Of course not. I just… I don’t know. I was scared because of Mark.”

“Mark Hyung is probably one of the least threatening members of the group,” Renjun says.

“Yeah, but he’s also probably one of the most traditional,” Yuta says bitterly.

“He doesn’t care about Doyoung Hyung,” Renjun says. 

“As far as we know.”

“You’re being paranoid.”

Yuta sighs and Renjun decides not to press it any further. They walk in silence for the rest of the way. Renjun tries to prepare and think of who might be in the dorms when they get there. 

It turns out that only Jisung and Jaemin are home. They’re playing a game in the common room and look up for a second when Renjun walks in followed by Yuta. “Aren’t you late?” Jisung asks.

“I went to the 127 dorm,” Renjun answers. “And I came back with Yuta Hyung.”

“Cool,” Jaemin says still focused on his game. 

“Anyone else home?” Renjun asks. His nerves are fluttering a little. They haven’t risked anything in the Dream dorm. Yuta and Mark’s room has a lock that they’ve utilized on more than one occasion but none of the doors in here have a lock. 

“Nah. Jeno and Chenle are having vocal lessons,” Jaemin says. 

“And you aren’t?” Renjun asks.

“Well neither are you,” Jisung says. “We don’t make the schedule.” They all snicker at the fake arguing.

“Anyway, Yuta Hyung wanted to study Chinese so leave us alone.”

“You going in our room?” Jisung asks. 

"Yeah,” Renjun says. “So leave us alone.”

“But what if I need to get something?” Jisung asks.

“Then text me, I don’t know,” Renjun says with an eyeroll. They both mutter replies unfocused and Renjun takes Yuta to the back. 

“This is filthy,” Yuta says stepping into the room.

“Yeah, I know. I gave up a long time ago,” Renjun says. His bed is at least clean, so they pick their way over and sit on the duvet. “Blame Jeno and Jisunggie.”

“Do you think they’re going to try and come in?” Yuta asks sitting cross legged facing Renjun. Renjun shrugs in response.

“Probably not.” Still, Renjun digs out one of Jisung’s beginner Mandarin books he’s never touched and a notebook. He finds a pen on the nightstand, flips to a random page, and writes Chinese and Korean arbitrarily, trying to make it seem like notes. “But if they walk in, we’ll have this.”

“Okay,” Yuta says though he doesn’t sound sure. Renjun throws the books to the side and moves closer to Yuta. 

They both smile nervously, the same as it was three months ago. Renjun rearranges himself so his legs are over Yuta’s thighs. He grabs Yuta by the back of his neck and pulls him closer. Yuta stopped teasing him about touching him like that weeks ago. When they’re alone, Yuta lets the age difference be less of a big deal. 

Their lips connect, but Renjun isn’t quite satisfied with the position still, so he lets himself sink backwards, Yuta trying to keep himself steady with his hands on his thighs. Renjun traps his waist between his knees as Yuta settles against him. 

It took a while for them to get used to this, hips together and no space in between. Renjun could only coax him into this after more than two months. Getting him to use his hands took another week. But the work was well worth it, because now Yuta has a hand gripping the underside of his thigh. The other hand is against the bed holding his weight, but Renjun doesn’t complain. It leaves his chest open.

He runs his hands down Yuta’s chest when he slips his tongue into his mouth. Yuta moans quietly when Renjun’s hands go up his ribs, shifting the fabric of his t-shirt against the sensitive skin. “Yuta,” Renjun whispers between kisses. Yuta hums and kisses his jawline gently. The first time they tried this they agreed not to leave any marks after Yuta ended up having to hide one just below his pulse point.

“Can I?” Renjun asks. He can’t help the small high-pitched noises he makes, but he tries to keep them below the sounds of the video game in the other room.

“Hm?” Yuta pulls back to look at him quizzically. Renjun sighs and slowly edges his fingers up under the edge of Yuta’s shirt. Yuta’s cheeks flush deep red, but he doesn’t say anything. Renjun inches his fingers up until his thumbs brush against his toned serratus. 

Yuta looks nervous, but his expression gets more comfortable after Renjun kisses him. He splays his fingers out on Yuta’s back and pulls him closer. The bare skin against his fingertips is electric. Yuta goes back to kissing his neck, Yuta’s body sliding against his own. Renjun cants his hips up and Yuta gasps.

He doesn’t repeat the action, backing away from the edge. Renjun pushed far enough for today. So instead he relishes in feeling the muscles on Yuta’s torso and Yuta’s lips against his collarbone. When did Yuta undue the two top buttons on his shirt? He doesn’t know, and he doesn’t complain. Renjun is too busy staring at the ceiling, biting his lip trying not to be too loud.

“You do a lot for my ego,” Yuta jokes pulling back a little.

“Shut up,” Renjun says. He curls his fingers and lightly scratches Yuta’s lower back. He squirms between Renjun’s legs and whines low in his throat. His face looks surprised and embarrassed. Renjun repeats the motion and gets another reaction. Renjun laughs. “Do you like it when I do that? When I scratch you?” Renjun asks half teasing and half husky.

Yuta responds by burying his face against Renjun’s neck. Renjun gently rakes his nails down the length of his back, and Yuta shivers and pants against his shoulder. The pressure against Renjun’s tailbone is getting uncomfortable so he readjusts where his hips sit, but what he feels from shifting against Yuta makes him gasp.

“We can stop—take a break,” Renjun stutters out trying to sit up. Yuta’s face is bright red, and his eyes are unfocused. It’s not a look he’s seen on him before. Renjun realizes after a beat that he didn’t even say that in Korean, slipping into his Dongbei dialect. He repeats himself in Korean, his eyes flitting between stiffness he felt earlier between Yuta’s legs and his glassy eyes. 

“You okay, Hyung?” He sits on the edge of Yuta’s lap, a hand against his cheek. It burns against his hand, like he’s been out in the sun all day. 

“Y-yeah,” Yuta says. His eyes refocus, and he blinks away the last of the fog. “You just…”

“What?” He uses a soothing voice.

“Your tone…” The blush was leaving, but it burns again. 

“Why don’t we try to actually study for a bit?” Renjun suggests innocently. He puts distance between them and tries not to analyze exactly what got Yuta so worked up. Yuta nods and avoids his gaze. 

Renjun flips through the book trying to find a topic Yuta hasn’t studied before. Yuta is silent for the first few minutes. “You should button your shirt,” Yuta finally says.

His expression is closer to normal and Renjun can see him calming down. He redoes the buttons to look presentable. “You were making a lot of noise,” Yuta teases.

“And what about you? You were so effected just from my voice and my nails against your skin.” It gets Yuta to blush again. He lays down, stretching across the length of the bed, and whines. Renjun sees the bulge of his pants growing again and Renjun wonders. That whine didn’t sound like his usual noises of displeasure when a member gives him shit. It sounded like a noise Renjun might get out of him when he kisses him just right.

“How do you say ‘I like you’ in Chinese?” Renjun asks. It takes him a while before Yuta answers. “The _huan_ has the third tone,” he corrects. Yuta tries again, face still hidden in his arms. “I like the way that sounds,” Renjun says with a smile. “Even with your accent.”

He expects Yuta to retort back, but he just leans his head against Renjun’s thigh, the top layer of his hair splaying across his jeans. The fading purple tips are mesmerizing and Renjun can’t help running his fingers through the locks. As lax as Yuta has let the age boundaries get, he figures he’s still going to get scolded for touching his hair, dragging his blunt nails across his scalp. But Yuta just whines again.

 _Interesting_. The only way to describe him right now is sated, if not still a bit embarrassed. Renjun absent-mindedly scratches at the base of his neck and plays with the black, grown-out roots. “ _Tell me something in Chinese_.”

“ _I like you_ ,” Yuta repeats.

“You aren’t even trying,” Renjun complains as the door opens. 

The minute he hears the turn of the door knob his hand retracts like it was on fire and Yuta jerks his head up. Renjun is surprised his words had still come out evenly.

“Hey,” Jeno says. He gives them a nice smile. He traverses the room to the desk covered in bottles of lotion and other random shit. “How’s the studying going?”

“Awful,” Renjun says coolly. He’s glad for the book across his lap, and he catches Yuta just barely rolling so he’s on his stomach, any left-over hard-on obscured from view. “Yuta Hyung has no discipline.”

“I do not,” Yuta says, his tone clear and focused again

“ _I hate you_ ,” Renjun says in Mandarin.

“ _I pull you too_.”

“Hate has a fourth tone,” Renjun says laughing. “You said ‘I pull you too’.” Yuta can’t help laughing with Jeno and Renjun.

“Good to see it’s going well,” Jeno says. “Have you seen my face mask?”

“It wouldn’t be a problem if you kept your room clean,” Yuta says.

“ _Oh my god_ ,” Jeno groans. “Renjun, this is what happens when you let one of the Hyungs in our room. It’s degrading.”

“It should be kept clean,” Renjun says.

“You’re becoming one of them,” Jeno accuses. 

“Bro, I’m still a Dream kid. I’m like, a month older than you,” Renjun says. “Also, there’s a face mask on Jisung’s bed.” Jeno looks startled when he sees that Renjun is right.

“How did it get there?” he asks himself. 

“I should go back to our dorm,” Yuta says as he hauls himself up off the bed.

“Tired of Injoon lecturing you?” Jeno asks. 

“I am always tired of that.” They laugh and Renjun rolls his eyes. 

“See you later, Hyung,” Renjun says.

“Yeah. Maybe next time I come over, the room will be clean,” Yuta calls as he heads out.

“I’ll clean later,” Jeno says even though Yuta is gone. 

“Doubt it,” Renjun retorts.

“Like I said, you’re becoming one of them.” Renjun decides that he can settle all the day’s frustrations with throwing a pillow at Jeno.

 

“Are you even listening?” 

It takes Renjun a solid few seconds to realize Sicheng was asking him. His confused expression as he tries to come up with a reply only seals his fate. The others laugh at him and Renjun joins in despite his embarrassment. 

“I told you it would be useless to bring him,” Chenle says. “He’s been moping all week.”

“What’s wrong?” Kun asks. Renjun shrugs and gives them an easy smile. He finds it harder to lie when speaking Mandarin, but he can still manage it.

“Nothing,” Renjun says. He thinks he sees Sicheng roll his eyes and Kun and Chenle shake their heads, but he can only look at Yukhei. His expression is neutral, but Renjun wonders if he knows more than he’s letting on. Yuta’s anxiety might not be rubbing off, but the paranoia seems like it is.

“Lies,” Chenle says. Renjun drops Yukhei’s stare and looks around at the others at the table eating from the various dishes between them. The atmosphere is still light. There’s no way they could know either of his secrets.

“It’s nothing,” Renjun insists.

“Is it because Yuta-ge’s schedule is busy?” Sicheng asks mischievously. Renjun sighs as they all laugh at him. No one in the group knows what they do in private, but the fact that they’ve spent a lot of time together recently isn’t lost on anyone. In fact, it’s kind of a joke.

“We’re not even that close,” Renjun says not bothering to make the lie sound truthful. It’ll be easier if they think they can catch him lying about this, something safe instead of what he actually keeps from them.

“I’m not complaining about it,” Sicheng says.

“Yeah, you’re just glad he doesn’t try to kiss you anymore,” Chenle says.

“That’s exactly it,” Sicheng says with a smile. “I have enough to deal with from Taeil-ge.”

“So, is Yuta-ge a nuisance to you too?” Kun asks. Renjun has to remind himself about what they were talking about, his worrying momentarily taking away his focus.

“No,” Renjun says. “He’s fine.”

“Yeah, but he’s been brooding too,” Kun says. Renjun shrugs. He wishes Yukhei would speak, so it wouldn’t appear strange with how silent he’s being. It might betray that he knows something, and Yukhei can’t lie to relieve that suspicion. “What do you two even talk about when you’re alone? Are you just angsting together?”

Renjun can’t come up with an answer but the question nags at him. He laughs it off and evades until the others stop pressing. What even _do_ they talk about? Closet angst and superficial shit? He wonders if Doyoung might call it unhealthy.

“But seriously if I see him sulking one more time,” Sicheng says. “I might just say fuck it and slap him.”

“You’re not going to slap him,” Kun says. “But it does make it hard to hang out with him. I asked if he wanted to get coffee yesterday and it was honestly a drag.”

“He’s just working through stuff,” Renjun says. He knows they aren’t trying to be mean, just venting their own worries, but it still makes him want to defend Yuta.

“Like what?” Yukhei asks. He finally speaks, but Renjun almost outwardly sighs. That question only makes it more difficult.

“I think he’s homesick,” Renjun makes up on the spot. It works, especially among this group of fellow foreigners. They all nod solemnly and pick at the Chinese-Korean food in silence for a while.

“It can be hard not seeing your family for a while,” Chenle comments around a mouthful of noodles.

“Says you,” Sicheng scoffs. “You just visited your family.”

“Yeah, but I was filming, and it was only a couple of nights,” Chenle says. “It’s different.”

“Didn’t he visit his family when you guys were in Japan?” Kun asks.

“Not for long,” Renjun answers before Sicheng can. He wants to blush at having that information so readily available. “But yeah. Not just his family. I think he misses Japan as a whole.”

“It’s tough,” Kun says. Renjun sees him mentally grasping for something wise to say. But he comes up with nothing and is now grasping for more boiled duck. 

“I miss China,” Sicheng mutters just loud enough for the others to hear.

“Gege, we all do,” Yukhei says lightly. “That’s what we’re here for! A mini-China to enjoy with ourselves.”

“Yeah!” Chenle says enthusiastically, only a little too loud for a public restaurant. It’s barely above the din of the other customers, but Kun still quiets him down.

“Well, we might get to visit soon,” Kun says once the other patrons who were disturbed by them go back to their own conversations. 

“Right,” Chenle says with a conspiratorial look. There’s been talk, suggestions of a sub-unit to promote in China. Renjun has always been excited about the prospect but now along with that excitement is sadness at being away from Yuta for so long. 

Which is dumb. He’s mentally shaking himself, irritated that he’s so preoccupied with a boy. _It’s just his stupid phase_ , Renjun thinks. Yuta going through this depressive episode alone is overwhelming even to Renjun. Hopefully, if the China sub-unit comes, it will come after Yuta gets his shit together.

“…obviously Beijing, even though none of us are from there,” Kun says. Renjun guesses they were talking about possible stops during promotions and he resolves himself to listen better. “But hopefully we could see all of our hometowns.”

“Shanghai is a given,” Sicheng says with envy. 

“I’ll treat you guys to good food,” Chenle says and it gets Sicheng to smile properly. 

“Hong Kong too, probably,” Renjun says. He actually has no idea. He didn’t pay a lot of attention to how Chinese idols promote. 

“We’ll have to get Xuxi to teach us some Cantonese,” Kun says. Yukhei responds by saying a phrase in Cantonese Renjun can’t understand, but Sicheng laughs at it.

“When we go to Shanghai I still want to talk with your grandfather, Chenle,” Sicheng says.

The conversation carries on about what they want to do if they get a sub-unit. Renjun wants to join, but his heart just isn’t in it. Too many worries weigh on him. The conversation with Doyoung and Yuta’s angst are mixing with the strange behavior Yuta had last time. He’s not paying attention when they finish lunch and head back home.

 

The hot tears pooling in his eyes feels foreign. Renjun can’t remember the last he cried, but right now, sitting on Yuta’s bed so utterly helpless, they threaten to spill. His eyes must look red now, a fact he knows Yuta sees despite his impassive expression.

“You don’t get it,” Yuta says dejectedly, like he’s the only one hurting. Renjun’s nails dig into his palm hidden in his crossed legs. Yuta shifts his weight distractedly, like he might turn around without reason.

“ _Dammit_ ,” Renjun curses under his breath. He drags a hand across an eye and through his hair, pulling the strands roughly. “Just _tell_ me.”

Yuta shrugs and sighs harshly. A classic anxiety move that Renjun can recognize, but in the moment, it pisses him off more. “Do you not trust me?” Renjun asks harshly. He wants so badly to yell, but there are other members in the dorm right now and they could easily hear through the walls if he spoke any louder than he is now. “You could at least tell Doyoung Hyung.”

“It’s not that simple,” Yuta says. “Just _telling_ someone.” He rolls his shoulders and glares at the wall on the other side of the room. Renjun’s eyes haven’t left Yuta’s jaw since he got up to put distance between them. He’s watched it clench and unclench as they’ve argued. Yuta rolls his shoulders and takes a deep breath like he’s holding back his own tears even though his eyes look clear.

“Hyung, I—” His mouth snaps shut when he hears the doorknob turn. Yuta looks at it in shock, like he doesn’t process Mark coming in. Bad timing, as always. There’s a tear on the brim, about to fall, but he holds back.

“Hey, what’s going…” Mark is all smiles until he sees the tension. Then immediately worry, but Renjun is out of the room before he can say anything. He avoids Yuta and doesn’t bother to not run into Mark’s shoulder as he squeezes through the doorway. He hears Mark call his name, but Yuta says something to keep him from following. 

The others must be in their room because Renjun doesn’t see anyone. He’s thankful because he can’t stop the tears anymore. He wipes them off furiously with his hands, irritating the thin skin under his eyes until it’s raw. 

“Injoon?” A quiet voice asks. Renjun looks up startled.

Oh. He wandered into the living room, where Taeyong is sitting down leafing through a novel. All his wanting to be alone suddenly disappears as his heart demands the comfort Yuta wasn’t giving him. The concern in Taeyong’s expression helps soothe his nerves and pulls him to go to the leader’s side.

“What’s wrong?” Taeyong asks softly, drawing Renjun into his arms.

Renjun doesn’t say anything for a while and Taeyong lets it be. “Do you want water?” Renjun shakes his head. His emotions are leveling out and the tears have dried on his cheeks. “How about some chocolate?” Taeyong holds a piece up and Renjun lets him press it between his lips. The bitter sweetness spreads across his tongue and Renjun finds the strength to sit up properly. 

“What’s up?” Taeyong asks. Renjun doesn’t even know how to explain it. The fear he holds for Yuta’s health, the pain from being pushed away, the anxiety over his own new identity, the keeping a secret from his members. It’s too much. Taeyong grabs his hand, grounding him.

“I’m just so worried,” Renjun says in a small voice. He wonders what’s going on in Yuta’s room, what he might have said to Mark, what they might be talking about.

“About?” Taeyong prompts. He’s being supportive, a small smile on his face as he rubs his thumb across Renjun’s knuckles.

“I don’t know. Everything,” Renjun says with a shrug. He knows he’s being despondent, but Taeyong doesn’t mention it or appear frustrated. 

“Is it about Yuta?” Renjun can only nod. He doesn’t want to reveal anything, but he can’t lie in this moment. Taeyong hums to himself as he thinks. “I understand caring about someone else to the point where it hurts. I mean, that’s kind of my job?” He laughs weakly but his smile quickly falls. “I spend a lot of my energy worrying about our members and sometimes it causes me pain because I can’t help. With Yuta right now, I’ve tried. But at this point, I’m only hurting myself if I continue. I’m not saying you need to think the same, but understand where you may cross that line, okay? If he needs help he’ll ask.”

It adds even more to Renjun’s already jumbled thoughts. But he nods and accepts Taeyong’s comfort. Has he given up on Yuta just like Doyoung? His mind swims with thoughts,  
but he knows Taeyong wants an answer. “I think it is hurting me,” he says simply. Taeyong nods and squeezes his hand.

“Maybe spend time away from each other?” Taeyong suggests. “Yuta means well, I’m sure he does. But something is bothering him, and you don’t deserve to suffer because of that.”

“Yeah,” Renjun answers only half listening. He’s too busy wondering about how he treats Yuta. Is he just a stray to take in and care for? Or is he someone who is only causing him pain? Is he a lost cause or does he just need support?

“Do you need anything now?” Taeyong asks. 

“Just…” Renjun can’t quite voice the words. He smiles bashfully and goes back to leaning against Taeyong. There’s silence for a moment before Taeyong puts his hand on Renjun’s head to pet his hair back.

“Stay as long as you want,” Taeyong murmurs. He puts the bag of sweets between them and goes back to his novel. Renjun enjoys the quietness and the taste of the chocolates. He tries not to think about Yuta and instead live in the moment. 

Every now and then, Taeyong’s hand will reach to pet his hair again before falling back around his shoulder. The warmth from the leader’s body is calming, and Renjun’s anxiety slips away. His anger at Yuta disappears with the rotating hands of the clock.

His phone goes off several times from the Dream kids’ group chat. Jeno is dragging Mark over something he did when he was at their dorm earlier. Renjun lets himself engage in it, if only to think about something else. Plus, teasing their leader has always been fun and easy.

“Cute,” a voice suddenly says. Taeyong and Renjun both look up to see Taeil on his way to the kitchen. Renjun looks down in embarrassment right as Taeil snaps a picture. Taeyong laughs breathlessly against him. 

Taeil moves on and Renjun goes back to texting. He wonders if Mark is reading them or if he’s too busy. Otherwise, he should have defended himself by now. Renjun tries not to think about Mark talking with Yuta about him. He hopes it isn’t that. As he’s trying to let go of that thought, Renjun sees Mark send him a private message. 

**MarkLee:** hey are you still here?

He doesn’t know why he’s asking, but he answers it anyway. It’s weird, especially when Mark doesn’t then go respond to all the messages in the group chat. There’s too much to worry about right now. Renjun tries to focus on relaxing.

“Renjun-ah,” a familiar voice calls. Dammit. No relaxing for now. 

He’s surprised to see Yuta standing in front of them, a serious look on his face. Taeyong’s posture stiffens, but he doesn’t say anything. “Yeah?” Renjun asks neutrally.  
Yuta’s eyes go between Taeyong and Renjun, trying to decide if he wants privacy. Either way, Taeyong leans away and retracts his arm. Yuta decides privacy isn’t necessary and just sits in front of Renjun, ignoring their leader who pretends to be reading. 

“I’m sorry,” Yuta mutters. “About being so… difficult.”

“Me too,” Renjun says immediately. “I know it’s not a trust thing. I just want you to be happy.” Yuta is staring at his hands in his lap with an unreadable expression. They’re silent for a moment.

“You guys should hug it out,” Taeyong says not bothering to look up from his book. Renjun scoffs and Yuta rolls his eyes. But Renjun still pitches himself forward to hug Yuta aggressively.

Yuta wraps his arms around him to try and steady himself as Renjun pushes him backwards. “Renjun!” Yuta yells in fear. Renjun just laughs at him, half laying on him as Yuta tries to escape.

“Shh, accept it,” Renjun whispers. Taeyong is cackling beside them and Yuta gives up.

“What did I do to deserve this?” Yuta asks theatrically. He wraps his arms back around Renjun absentmindedly.

“It’s karma,” Taeyong says. “For giving Winwinnie so much shit.”

“Shut up,” Yuta whines. He pushes once more on Renjun’s chest and Renjun releases him. They both sit up and Yuta playfully shoves him away.

“Winwin Hyung says he’s happy you don’t bother him anymore,” Renjun says. “But I think he secretly misses it.”

“I haven’t stopped?” Yuta says uncertainly.

“You’ve lessened considerably,” Taeyong says. “Winwin won’t shut up about it so I think he misses it.”

“Oh.” Yuta looks pensive for a moment.

“You’ve moved on to Renjun now, but at least he returns it,” Taeyong says. Yuta looks up at the ceiling like it might have an explanation. Renjun leans his head against Yuta’s shoulder with a cheesy smile.

“Nah,” Yuta says and Renjun can tell he’s being fake. “I don’t have any affection for Renjun. He’s just been a leech on me recently.”

“Hyung, you’re so dumb,” Renjun says. “But whatever. I’ll stop coming over and hanging out. I’ll leave you on read. I won’t send you anymore funny pictures.”

“Don’t take away my memes,” Yuta says dramatically.

“It’s what you deserve,” Taeyong says gravelly. Yuta sighs like everything is too much and Renjun flicks his arm.

“Are you feeling better?” Renjun asks quietly. Yuta cuts his eyes to Taeyong, biting his lip.

“Yeah. Mark helped a lot, actually.”

“Mark Hyung was helpful?” Renjun asks. 

“Like, he gave you advice?” Taeyong asks.

“Yeah,” Yuta says with a shrug. 

“He’s becoming a proper Hyung,” Renjun says melodramatically. He wipes away a fake tear and the others laugh at him. 

“Not quite yet,” Yuta says.

“He works hard for us,” Renjun says. The others nod in agreement. 

“So,” Taeyong says. “Do you guys need a moment, or should we go get food?”

“Oh, food. Hell yes,” Yuta says. 

“Can we get hot pot?” Renjun asks.

“Of course, Renjun-ah,” Taeyong says. 

 

It’s several days until they find alone time again, so the sound of the lock clicking is music to Renjun’s ears. Yuta’s already on the bed, on his back, arms open and ready to pull Renjun in. He’s got a million questions to ask Yuta without words and wastes no time crawling on top of him.

They stop short of kissing, Renjun bracing his arms against the bed to soak in the sight before him and Yuta running his thumbs across his ribs. “Do you want it off?” Renjun teases. He wouldn’t mind, especially since the air con has been tepid at best these days. He flips the hem of his shirt up and Yuta looks away blushing.

“Shut up,” Yuta mutters. He’s still frowning when Renjun kisses him. But it slowly melts away and Renjun’s weight settles against him like a heavy comfort on his soul.

Even with the hot summer going on, heat permeating in the dorm, Renjun relishes the warmth Yuta gives him. His own shirt keeps getting pushed up by Yuta’s hands. They slide against Renjun’s skin, almost uncomfortable on his skin with all the moisture and heat. He kisses the side of Renjun’s neck fervidly.

“Hey Yuta,” Renjun calls nudging him away. 

“What?” he asks impatiently. He ignores Renjun’s pushing and keeps kissing. 

Renjun doesn’t respond but sternly shoves Yuta down. Yuta looks up at him with questions that don’t quite reach his lips. Seconds pass, and the expression in Yuta’s eyes shifts to what Renjun saw last time they kissed. 

He strokes his thumb down Yuta’s neck and stares until Yuta needs to look away, his skin hot and breath heavy. A stiffness presses against his leg as he threads his fingers through Yuta’s hair and tugs lightly. “Don’t look away,” Renjun drawls out. He swears he hears Yuta whimper, but he tries to do as he’s told. It lasts barely a second before Yuta must close his eyes and suck in a deep breath.

“Is something wrong?” Renjun asks, tone bordering on sounding patronizing. Yuta opens his eyes again and leans forward to kiss him. But Renjun pulls back and pushes Yuta down into the bed. He raises an eyebrow while a million thoughts appear to flash through Yuta’s eyes. Finally, a quiet word escapes Yuta’s mouth.

“Please.” 

And so Renjun kisses him, satisfied to have most of his questions answered. They don’t say anything else, but Renjun notices how compliant Yuta is, how he’ll let Renjun take what he wants. 

His shirt is thrown on the floor and Renjun is kissing down his chest, hands grasping where his mouth misses, steam filling the room so much it’s hard to breathe. It only takes two times of Renjun pushing his arms away for Yuta to understand he must keep his hands to himself. He whines quietly and squirms under Renjun’s legs pinning him down. Renjun vaguely hears Doyoung and Taeyong arguing in the hallway and places one hand over Yuta’s mouth.

“Don’t be too loud,” Renjun whispers. Yuta releases a shaky breath against his palm. He gives a small nod and Renjun removes his hand.

Renjun doesn’t know what his hyungs are yelling about, but there’s a lot of scuffling and a sharp metallic noise on occasion. Johnny’s voice enters in much quieter than theirs, but the other two don’t stop. Yuta has his hand halfway in his mouth, biting hard enough that Renjun can see teeth marks every time it shifts.

A dark bruise bursts above Yuta’s right hip from Renjun’s mouth. He grabs Yuta’s wrist to pull his hand away, so he can kiss him properly. His mouth is slick with saliva, but his lips are dry like cracked rocks. Then the rushing sound of cold air funnels into the room. Doyoung yells, “finally,” loud enough to be heard clearly through the walls.

“Fuck,” Yuta whispers against his lips, suddenly shivering. He wraps his arms around Renjun’s waist and pulls him so they’re flush against each other again.

“I guess they fixed the air con?” Renjun muses to himself. He shifts so he’s only half on the elder and Yuta can lay on his side to look at him. “You seem tired,” Renjun says. Yuta sighs, but it sounds sweet.

“You have too much energy,” Yuta says. He fiddles with Renjun’s fingers resting on his waist. Yuta’s eyes are no longer glassy, only filled with pure affection for Renjun.

“You’re just old,” Renjun teases. Yuta huffs out a single laughter. He reaches a hand around to ruffle Renjun’s hair.

“You can add honorifics back, you know. You use ‘you’ way too much.”

“Hyung hasn’t complained before,” Renjun says.

“Doyounggie would be scandalized.”

“Stop worrying about what the others would think,” Renjun says letting every layer of meaning come through. Yuta’s gaze goes stony and his eyes glare sharply. He opens his  
mouth to speak but startles when they hear the doorknob jiggle.

“Yuta,” Taeyong calls trying to turn the knob again. 

Yuta ended up on the floor trying to jerk away from Renjun. He curses to himself in Japanese, hands trembling as he tries to put his shirt back on. Renjun wants to comfort him  
but knows anything he could do would only make him more anxious. He settles for walking to the door to let their persistent leader in.

“Sorry,” Renjun says opening it. “Must have locked it on accident.”

“Oh, Renjun,” Taeyong says surprised. “I didn’t know you were here.” He gives Renjun a strange look. It’s certainly not bizarre for there to be members closer with some people more than others, so Renjun doesn’t get why everyone is making a deal about him and Yuta appearing close.

“I’ve been here for a while,” Renjun says playfully. “And I heard Hyung and Doyoung arguing earlier.” Taeyong chuckles and rubs at the back of his neck.

“He was nagging me to get the air con fixed. Really though, I just hit it a couple times? But yeah, it’s working now.” He cranes his neck to look around Renjun’s frame. “Yuta…?”

“What?” Yuta asks coming up to the door. Even with him behind him, Renjun can tell Yuta is anxious.

“Have you eaten recently?” Taeyong asks trying to sound nonchalant.

“I’m fine,” Yuta says. He turns around and retreats into the room. Taeyong presses his lips into a thin line.

“Does Yuta Hyung want to go out to eat?” Renjun calls over his shoulder. Yuta doesn’t respond, staring at his phone and half-turned away from the door.

“I’ll treat,” Taeyong adds. 

“Pass,” Yuta says after too long. Taeyong sighs, his eyebrows pinched together.

“I’ll go with you, Hyung,” Renjun says. He tells Yuta goodbye and steps out of the room, closing the door behind him.

The air is even more frigid in the hallway now, all the heat spirited away, and Taeyong’s presence certainly isn’t helping. “Ignore him,” Renjun offers. He leads Taeyong away from the room, so Yuta can’t hear them.

“He worries me,” Taeyong says quietly. They stop halfway down the hall, avoiding the members they hear joking in the common room. 

“Me too,” Renjun says. “But wasn’t it this Hyung who told me not to worry too much? To not hurt myself in the process?” He offers Taeyong a shallow smile and the leader sighs again.

“I also told you it’s my job to worry,” Taeyong says. He tries to at least grin for his dongsaeng, but he proves unsuccessful, so his gaze returns to the floor.

“I’m sure it’ll work itself out.” Taeyong’s head snaps up so fast it startles Renjun.

“You know what the problem is?” His eyes search Renjun’s face hungrily.

“N-no, of course not!” Renjun takes a step back and holds his hands up in between them. Taeyong takes half a step forward before stepping back.

“Okay,” Taeyong relents. He looks down the hallway pensively. “But you shouldn’t lie to me.”

Heavy air sits between them, cementing Renjun to where he stands. “I’m sorry, Hyung,” he says softly. He’s always so thankful that someone like Taeyong is their leader, someone so caring and selfless. His heart is weighed with guilt. “I just… I _can’t_ tell.”

“He shouldn’t have made this your problem,” Taeyong says bitterly. He sighs once more and runs a hand through his hair. “Sorry, Injoon-ah.” He stares at the floor for a second before looking at Renjun properly with a soft smile. “Do you want to go get food?” 

“Yeah, sounds great.” Renjun offers his own slight smile and lets Taeyong take him from the dorm and from his worries.

 

If anyone is going to figure out about what we do, Renjun thinks, it’ll be these Hyungs. The table is brimming with both side dishes and obstacles. Good food, but risky company.  
“I already said I’m paying,” Doyoung says leveling his gaze across the table.

“But you paid last time,” Jungwoo argues. “I can pay this time.”

“He made these plans,” Yuta says. “Let him pay.” He looks relaxed for once. Sitting in a private room having lunch with the other gay members gives him little to be anxious about.

“You shouldn’t take advantage,” Jungwoo chides across Yukhei. 

“I’m not,” Yuta says simply. Renjun’s gaze goes between the three of them arguing about a bill that hasn’t come yet. He sees Yukhei on the other side of the table far more focused on the food in front of him than the others bickering.

“Hyungs,” Renjun calls trying to get them to another topic. “Why did we go out again?” 

“Oh, right,” Jungwoo says. “We have to teach Renjunnie all about gay culture.”

“That’s a lot to cover,” Doyoung says.

“Just do a small part then,” Yukhei says. 

“What do we start with?” Yuta asks between shoving rice into his mouth. 

“Mmm, roles? Like the labels and stuff,” Jungwoo suggests. 

“Alright,” Doyoung says before turning to Renjun. He starts going down a list of terms that Renjun barely catches. Some he’s heard before or read on internet forums. Every now and then Yukhei offers the Mandarin for it.

“Wait,” Renjun says stopping his hyungs. “What do you mean by that?”

“Like,” Doyoung pauses and laughs embarrassed.

“Bedroom stuff,” Yukhei says. 

“Who does what,” Jungwoo adds.

“But is it like a thing? Would a person introduce themselves like that?”

“Whether they top or bottom can change based on relationships for some people. Others only classify themselves as one or the other,” Doyoung explains absentmindedly stirring  
the soup in front of him.

“Hyung forgot about switch,” Jungwoo says. “Some people will do either.”

“So how do you know what someone is?” Renjun asks.

“Personality mostly,” Yuta says. “But it can be hard to guess, or it doesn’t line up with their day-to-day personality.”

“Right,” Doyoung agrees.

“What about our members?” Renjun asks. Doyoung chokes on his drink and the others laugh.

“Well, Taeil Hyung is probably a switch,” Yukhei starts.

“Wait, wait,” Doyoung says once he can breathe again. “I think he was asking about us.”

“Yeah,” Renjun says. “Does this even apply to straight people?”

“Kind of,” Doyoung answers. “Even if it doesn’t have the same physical ramifications, it probably still effects the dynamic a little.”

“So, what about our members?” Renjun asks again. The hyungs share unsure glances. 

“Xuxi is probably right about Taeillie Hyung,” Doyoung says. “Youngho Hyung…”

“Top,” Jungwoo declares. 

“Taeyong Hyung is a bottom,” Doyoung says immediately.

“I thought—wouldn’t Taeyong Hyung be a top though?” Yukhei asks. “Our leader and all?”

“Have you listened to ‘Whiplash’?” Yuta asks incredulously. 

“Kun would be a switch, probably,” Doyoung continues. Renjun nods in agreement, starting to get a feel for it.

“What about Ten Hyung?” Renjun asks.

“Top, maybe,” Doyoung says. He looks at Jungwoo and shrugs. He assents.

“Jaehyun Hyung too,” Yukhei offers. 

“I’ll bet Winwin is a bottom,” Doyoung says. With all these quick answers, Renjun wonders how much the others have thought about this.

“Mark is such a bottom,” Yukhei says.

“And we’ll leave it at that for the other members,” Doyoung says. 

“Haechannie and Jeno are adults now, too,” Renjun says. Doyoung laughs at him and pinches his cheek.

“So concerned about this,” Doyoung teases. “Why are you interested in whether we think they’re tops or not?” Renjun blushes and stammers. Yuta especially finds it funny, laughing outright as Renjun tries to assure the others that he is not interested in his friends.

“I’m not! I’m just saying the truth.”

“Really?” Doyoung asks, enjoying Renjun’s embarrassment far too much. “You aren’t even a little interested about Jeno?”

“Shut up,” Renjun mutters. 

“They still seem like kids to me,” Jungwoo says. 

"Jungwoo, you’re basically a kid,” Yuta reminds him.

“Regardless,” Doyoung says still smiling. “We’ll leave them out of this for now. They aren’t adults in the group until we drink together. So, about your gay Hyungs, I’m a top.”

“Doubt,” Yuta says. Doyoung rolls his eyes and looks to Jungwoo.

“Switch, but usually bottom,” Jungwoo says. 

“Our Lucas said he’s a switch,” Doyoung says. Yukhei nods, his mouth too full to properly respond. “And Yuta Hyung’s a top.”

“No, he isn’t,” Renjun says before he can think better of it. Doyoung raises an eyebrow. “I mean, it doesn’t seem like he is.”

“Hey,” Yuta says. His tone sounds defiant, but his cheeks are rosy. “I’m a _san-nam-ja_.” Renjun rolls his eyes at his dumb joke.

“Come on, Hyung. You’re such the type to let your partner boss you around,” Renjun says careful of how the others are listening. Yuta doesn’t have any retaliations. He sits back in his chair and looks at the wall to his right.

“I stand corrected,” Doyoung says cautiously. “And what about our Injoonnie?”

“Um.” Renjun isn’t quite sure. So, he picks the safe answer. “Switch?” 

“It might be easier to figure out when you get more experience,” Doyoung says vaguely before returning his attention to the food. 

Renjun wonders if he revealed too much. With the gay hyungs, there isn’t a risk of Yuta being outed, but there’s still the risk of their extracurricular activities being outed. Doyoung is too smart for Renjun to be making mistakes like this. He glances at Yuta who doesn’t seem too concerned. Maybe he’s a better actor than Renjun gives him credit for.

“As I was saying,” Doyoung says before going back to the original list. Renjun half listens, careful not to say anything else incriminating. “But yeah. So that’s the basics.”

“I see,” Renjun says only because it’s clear Doyoung is waiting for a response.

“Also, as far as relationships go,” Doyoung says. “Especially in Korea, be careful.”

“What do you mean?” Renjun asks.

“Generally, the way that biology works, gay people aren’t attracted to non-gay people,” Doyoung says. “If you like a guy, they’re probably gay too so it’s safe. However, there are some instances.” He looks at Renjun seriously, even as his tone wavers a bit. “The solution to that is: don’t follow through. If he’s straight, don’t bother. No matter how much you think you like him.”

“That sounds a little personal, Hyung,” Jungwoo says carefully. All of them regard Doyoung with concern.

“Did something happen?” Yukhei asks. “Or someone?”

“A friend of a friend of a friend,” Doyoung answers quickly. Renjun doubts the validity of that statement. “On to the next matter of business then.” He turns to Yuta and says, “You  
need to get your shit together.”

“What?” Yuta exclaims, blindsided by the topic.

“I mean, stop being all depressed and whatever,” Doyoung says flapping his hand at Yuta.

“I’m not depressed,” Yuta says.

“These days you seem pretty depressed,” Yukhei says.

“Very depressed,” Jungwoo adds.

“We get it,” Doyoung says twirling his chopsticks in the air. “You’re anxious about the rest of the members figuring out you’re gay. But when you act all depressed, it only makes them pay more attention to you—especially if you refuse to hang out with anyone but Renjun.”

Renjun’s spine stiffens but he tries to keep his face neutral. Across the table he sees Yuta in a similar state from the corner of his eyes. _Just focus on the noodles_ , Renjun tells himself and stuffs his mouth so he has an excuse not to say anything.

“Everyone saw you guys have your moment or whatever during the game, and then afterwards being basically attached at the hip? I mean, Hyung has been avoiding _Winwin_. They’re going to know you two suddenly have something in common. Since the rest of us came out right after you were making-out, they’re going to put two and two together and come up with suspicious ideas, even if it isn’t the truth.”

Doyoung sets his chopsticks down and folds his hands. He stares at Yuta who has a stony expression. Renjun’s heart is racing. Is Doyoung just trying to predict what the others might get suspicious of? Or is Doyoung is suspicious of the truth? Renjun wonders if he’s trying to subtly warn them, either to be more careful or to stop being intimate. All the prospects form a unique hell for Renjun’s mental.

“I’m fine,” Yuta says sounding far less sure than he meant it. 

“Then what’s the deal?” Doyoung says. He vaguely sounds like he might drop honorifics any moment.

“Renjunnie is easy talk to, because our situations are the same. He’s just as anxious about the others knowing,” Yuta says. If Renjun wasn’t the subject, he probably would have believed it.

“Don’t lie,” Doyoung says. “Injoonnie isn’t being reclusive. We’re talking about Hyung right now. Will you just try and be normal? At least a little bit? For my sake? Hyung has no idea how many times Taeyong has nagged me about you. It shouldn’t be my responsibility. Please.” Doyoung adds on the last word as an afterthought, looking away from Yuta’s eyes in his moment of desperation. He might be trying to play it off, but Renjun sees a deeper torment there.

“Wait, why is Taeyonggie asking _you_ about me?” Yuta asks. The panic is clear in his voice, in his wide eyes.

“He’s been asking everyone,” Jungwoo says. 

“Don’t worry,” Doyoung grumbles with an eye roll. “He doesn’t know anything.”

“But everyone is worried about Hyung,” Yukhei says innocently. Renjun sees his arm move, Yukhei probably putting a hand on Yuta’s knee under the table. He knows that if he himself tried that in front of anyone, Yuta would have pushed his hand away.

“Doyoung Hyung is right,” Renjun says quietly. His hyungs’ attention burns on him and he pretends to pick through the vegetables. “If Hyung acts differently or weird, the members will pay more attention. But if Hyung keeps acting normal and pretending to be straight—no panicking—then they won’t be analyzing everything. Our members know there’re two left, and if we act weird Hyung, they’re going to know it’s us before we’re ready to tell them.”

Silence falls on the room. Doyoung opens and closes his mouth a couple times like he might want to speak, but nothing comes out. Nobody eats, either, even Yukhei’s chopsticks rest on the holder. The only sound is the muttered conversations from the main dining room coming through the walls.

“You’re right,” Yuta says nonchalantly. The tension fades away slowly. He feigns indifference and picks up his spoon to stir his soup. The others go back eating like normal. Except for Doyoung, who sits staring at Yuta.

“Are you ever going to be ready to tell them?” Doyoung asks bluntly. His lips are turned down in annoyance.

“It’s none of your business what I decide to do,” Yuta snaps.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Doyoung says harshly slamming a hand down on the table. “I want to be kind. I know it’s your choice, but we shouldn’t have to suffer. It’s been three months of this bullshit!”

“Hyung,” Renjun says evenly. He puts a hand on Doyoung’s upper arm, pleading for him to calm down.

“I know,” Yuta says, shoulders pulled back and chin raised. Doyoung huffs and looks away from the table, ignoring the others and Renjun’s hand on his arm.

“So infuriating,” Doyoung says informally. Yuta’s regular quips about talking down are absent.

“Hyung,” Renjun says. Yukhei and Jungwoo are at a loss, looking between themselves helplessly. “You can’t push a person to come out. And Yuta Hyung, it has been very difficult recently. We know how hard it must be for you, but you’ve only been making it worse.” He speaks carefully, knowing he technically has no right to speak like this to his hyungs. But they’ve been with each other long enough and he hopes they hear his sincerity.

“I’m sorry,” Yuta says after a moment. He bows his head, and the severity from his face drops off to leave sadness.

“I’m sorry I yelled,” Doyoung says letting his gaze return to Yuta. Yuta nods his head and mutters acceptance. 

“I’ll work harder,” Yuta says. 

“Promise?” Doyoung asks.

“Promise.” Yuta holds his pinky out to Doyoung. He reaches to wrap his own pinky around Yuta’s and they seal it with their thumbs.

“We good now?” Yukhei asks, his pronunciation looser than normal. “No more yelling?” His accent gets Doyoung and Yuta to laugh. 

“No more, Xuxi,” Yuta says throwing an arm around his shoulder. 

“Good.” 

“Next order of business, then,” Doyoung says. Everyone looks up in panic. But Doyoung is smiling. “Who’s paying the check?”

 

Yuta keeps his promise. The next week, Renjun watches him act normally in front of the others, almost like a light switch was turned on. None of the other members dared mention it to Yuta, but it was obvious they noticed. After a few of the members went out to eat, Taeyong even came up to Renjun and thanked him.

“I don’t know what you did. But thank you.” 

It was its own award: seeing Yuta wrap an arm around Sicheng’s like he used to do and ruffle Renjun’s hair in front of everyone with a calm expression. The whole mood of the  
group lifted and Renjun’s own worrying melts away.

“Honestly, what was even bothering him?” Mark asks nonchalantly one day while playing video games with Renjun.

“Nothing,” Renjun says though his heart skips a beat. His reflexes lapse, and his character ends up dead, sent back to respawn.

“I just want to know what you did for it to go away like that.” 

“I didn’t do anything,” Renjun says. “It was all Doyoung Hyung.”

“Well, what did he do?” The match ends, their team having lost.

“Haechannie is going to be mad that we’re messing up his record.”

“His record is garbage anyway.” Mark starts a new match. “So, what happened?”

“Nothing. Doyoung Hyung yelled at him and told him he was being dumb.” He does what Mark is doing and pretends that the game is more interesting than the conversation.

“Being dumb about what?”

“Dunno.”

“ _Bro, don’t lie_ ,” Mark whines in English.

"It’s a secret,” Renjun says cheekily, hoping the humor will get Mark distracted.

“Aish,” Mark says even though he’s laughing. “Come on, Taeyong Hyung has been nagging me.”

“He hasn’t asked me anything.”

“Honestly, because he said you’d pull the ‘it’s a secret’ card.”

“So why wouldn’t I say that to Mark Hyung?”

“Just, like, do me a favor?”

“Can’t. All due respect, it’s not really anyone’s business.”

“Taeyong Hyung is the leader. Everything that effects the group is his business.”

“It’s fixed now, isn’t it?” Renjun’s character keeps dying, but that’s not the current source of his frustration. Mark sighs.

“Okay.” They get through a whole match not talking about anything important. But then Mark says, “if it’s no one’s business, then how come you know?”

“Seriously, Hyung?”

“It’s a valid question.”

“He didn’t even tell me,” Renjun admits. “I just figured it out.”

“What, how?” He’s so shocked that, his attention not even on the screen, his character dies without a fight.

“If you know him, you’d know,” Renjun taunts. 

“Honestly, is Haechan rubbing off on you?” Renjun shrugs and sets the controller down. The match finishes with neither of them caring and the lobby music drones on in the  
background. “Look man,” Mark starts. “Everyone just wants Yuta Hyung to be happy.”

“He’s happy now, isn’t he?” Renjun runs a hand through his hair. Why is this still going on?

“Taeyong Hyung is just worried. Honestly, I’m worried.”

“People get depressed. He’s fine. Everything is fine, Hyung.” Renjun hugs his knees to his chest and rests his chin on them. 

“Are _you_ okay?” Mark asks tentatively. He sets a hand on Renjun’s shoulder tentatively.

“I’m fine.”

“You’re worried too, aren’t you?” Renjun can only answer with silence. Mark moves closer and wraps his arm around Renjun, pulling him close. “Are you sure it isn’t a problem?”

“I don’t know,” Renjun admits. “Doyoung Hyung said it probably wouldn’t resolve itself… I don’t know. It feels like it’s fake? Like him being happy right now won’t last.”

“Honestly, I’d normally say to trust Doyoung Hyung, but let’s just agree that he’s got this wrong, okay?” Renjun laughs. “It’s like, he’s kind of pretentious, right? Yuta Hyung is  
going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay.” Renjun nods and Mark pats Renjun’s back.

“Thanks, Hyung.”

“Nah, it’s nothing. I’m here for you, man.” He jostles Renjun in his grip and gets another laugh out of him. 

“ _What are you doing_!?” 

Both turn around startled at the shriek. Donghyuk stands in the doorway of the dorm, abject horror on his face. He stumbles forward and falls to his knees in front of them. They look on in confusion and concern. “ _My streak_ ,” Donghyuk bemoans burying his face in his hands. Renjun and Mark break out laughing.

“Sorry,” Mark says while Donghyuk rolls around dramatically.

“Mark Hyung said it was okay because your streak was already garbage.”

“I did not!”

Donghyuk sits up straight, murder in his eyes. “I’m going to make you regret everything.” Real fear crawls up Mark’s spine. Donghyuk lunges at him, pushing him back onto the ground.

Renjun’s laughter mixes with Mark’s screeches and giggling. Donghyuk’s fingers are experts in tickling their leader, leaving no area behind as he pins Mark down. “Please! Please, I’m sorry,” Mark says between tears and laughter. He hands futilely try to push Donghyuk away.

“You deserve it,” Renjun says. Donghyuk’s head whips around to him, fingers suddenly still. 

“Don’t think I forgot about you.” There isn’t any time for Renjun to react before he’s on the floor, unsuccessful in fending off the attacks from above. His stomach aches as he laughs, but he’s happy. 

“Haechan, Haechan, _please_!” Renjun’s pride is no longer important. The only objective is to get away and breathe. 

“Well, since you asked so nicely, _injeolmi_ ,” Donghyuk says. He stops but doesn’t get up from Renjun’s hips. Renjun takes deep breathes, staring up at the ceiling. “What were you guys talking about before I came in?”

“We were having a very serious moment,” Mark says gravely. Renjun chokes out a laugh and his abs sting.

“Is our Injoonnie okay?” Donghyuk looks down at Renjun with a solemn expression juxtaposing the joking tone. 

“I’m fine,” Renjun says and this time he is sincere. 

“Alright, whatever you say,” Donghyuk says in his sing-song voice. “But just to make sure—” Donghyuk leans down to kiss Renjun on the cheek.

“Bro!” Renjun pushes his face away but Donghyuk is tenacious. The second time Renjun shoves him off hard enough for Donghyuk to land beside him on the floor. Donghyuk is laughing and soon all three of them are reduced to giggling, no reason why but to just laugh.

“Why are you guys so weird?” Jisung says walking by to the kitchenette. They all look up at him, momentarily quiet.

“Don’t talk down to us,” Donghyuk chides. Halfway through he starts laughing again and Renjun and Mark follow. Jisung mutters something that’s probably vaguely disrespectful and walks back to his room with a water bottle. 

The laughter fades, but Renjun’s heart stays light. Donghyuk recounts his ridiculous day and Renjun momentarily forgets what he was even worried about. Maybe if he texts Yuta tomorrow they can spend time together.

 

Tomorrow Renjun finds that Yuta had the same idea. 

**Osaka Prince:** come over~  
**Osaka Prince:** I'll buy you food later

While completely unnecessary, Renjun accepts the offer. He’s over at their dorm in less than ten minutes.

“Yuta Hyung is in his room,” Jaehyun greets him with from his place on the common room couch.

“Thanks,” Renjun says shyly. Jaehyun gives him a nice smile and goes back to his book. Renjun follows the familiar path to Yuta’s room.

When he enters, he’s surprised to see Mark on his bed scrolling through his phone. He stumbles in the doorway and looks at Yuta for help. Yuta sits up straighter on his bed, an excited smile on his face. 

“Hey Mark,” he calls politely. 

“What’s up?”

“Could you give us some privacy?” Mark looks up in confusion before finding his answer in Renjun. He takes a couple more steps in, hands leaving the door.

“Ah,” he says quietly. “You guys need to talk?”

“Yeah,” Yuta says like it’s not a big deal. His calmness is surreal to Renjun. Mark is smiling to himself as he scrambles off his bed and out the door.

“Good luck,” Mark whispers as he passes him, one hand trailing behind to drag the door shut. Renjun shuffles closer to Yuta.

“What do you need to talk about?” Renjun asks fidgeting with the seams of his pants.

“Nothing, I just wanted him to leave.” Renjun lets out a breath. Yuta’s smile is so wide his teeth are showing, and he beckons Renjun towards him with contagious excitement.

Yuta crosses his legs and draws Renjun into his lap. His fingers are vibrating against Renjun’s hips. Several days have gone by since the last time they were together. Renjun breathes Yuta’s scent of sweet cologne and fried food in deeply, not caring at all how Yuta laughs at his affection. “I wanted to try something…” Yuta says biting his lower lip, eyes suddenly sultry.

“Try what?” Renjun asks. Then Yuta’s expression splits into a mischievous grin and Renjun is suddenly on his back.

Yuta looms over him and Renjun laughs. “Are you going to try and pretend to be a top?” Renjun teases informally. 

“You’re so disrespectful,” Yuta says in mock-anger. 

“Come on, you know you love it when I tell you what to do,” Renjun says. He leans up to get closer to Yuta, which is a considerable struggle with Yuta’s hands holding his upper arms down. “You know you love it when I embarrass you, when I push you around.”

“That’s no way to speak to your Hyung,” Yuta says even though it’s clear Renjun’s words affected him. But Renjun backs away. Maybe this will be fun.

“Sorry, Hyung. I shouldn’t talk down,” Renjun says with honorifics. Yuta rolls his eyes.

“Shut up.” Renjun swallows his laughter. Yuta leans down to kiss him and Renjun lets him lead it. It seems that Yuta’s idea of being dominant is to use more teeth, and there’s  
another bout of laughter bubbling in his throat.

“What?” Yuta asks pretending to be annoyed.

“Nothing,” Renjun says.

“You really piss me off sometimes,” Yuta says trying to sound serious.

“What, do you want me to be submissive?” Renjun jokes.

“Maybe.”

“How do I know you deserve it?” Renjun presses up and Yuta retreats a bit. “If you want it, just take it.” Yuta doesn’t respond. He stares at Renjun with a dark expression, their eyes locked together in the silence. 

Finally, he grabs Renjun’s wrists and tugs them above his head. Renjun breathes in sharply at the sudden fire in his shoulders from the stretch. “There you go,” Renjun teases. 

“Shut up,” Yuta growls. He crashes his mouth into Renjun’s again and his free hand is against Renjun’s hip, fingers inching under the shirt’s hemline. Yuta’s shins are pinning Renjun’s thighs down so all he can do is arch up against Yuta.

Renjun curses in Mandarin when Yuta bites the side of his neck. “Hyung, no marks,” he breathes out between soft moans. 

“Don’t tell me what to do.” But Yuta’s teeth stop. He moves further down and says, “don’t move your hands.”

“Yes, Hyung,” Renjun says almost laughing at fake he sounds. Yuta ignores him and pushes his shirt up, so it’s bunched above his floating ribs. He kisses the skin more gently before getting aggressive. “Fuck,” Renjun says. His shoulders ache and he badly wants to move, but he stays in Yuta’s grasp. He curses again and suddenly Yuta’s hand is on his mouth.

“You can’t be talking like that,” Yuta chides, his palm blocking Renjun’s agitated breathing. Renjun wants to laugh again, but he decides to play nice. He’s enjoying Yuta trying to be a top, even if it seems overexaggerated. 

Yuta goes back to kissing around his hips, one hand on Renjun’s mouth and the other running along the hem of Renjun’s pants. Anticipation mixes with a bit of fear. Renjun honestly didn’t expect Yuta to try and push further so soon, but Renjun decides he’s okay with it. He trusts Yuta enough to try something new. 

But then Renjun sees the door inch open and there’s a whole new fear in Renjun’s veins. He racks his mind trying to remember if he locked it, but he doesn’t even remember seeing the door close. _Of course_ , Mark closed it on the way out and probably didn’t even fully shut it and now it’s opening enough for Renjun to see a face, Taeyong’s face. 

Renjun can’t breathe and it’s not even about the hand on his mouth. He tries to form words or get Yuta to stop. He struggles but Yuta only sees it as part of the game. The beginnings of the word “stop” gets out of his mouth when Yuta’s hand shifts. Yuta doesn’t look up though, not even given the chance before he’s being ripped away from Renjun.

“ _Na Yuta_ ,” Taeyong yells grabbing him by the collar so they’re facing each other. Yuta trips over his feet trying to find balance. “What the _fuck_ are you doing.” Yuta is absolutely astonished, red lips open in perfect circle. Taeyong shoves him away in disgust but immediately is on him again, backing him against the wall.

“Wh-what—I, what,” Yuta stammers out. His own hands go to Taeyong wrists but the fire in their leader’s eyes has him like a deer in headlights.

“I can’t _believe_ you,” Taeyong seethes. Renjun is sitting up on the bed, helpless. He has no idea what Taeyong is so upset about, why Yuta is getting punished but not Renjun. 

“Wha—”

“To try and do that to one our own members,” Taeyong spits out mere inches from Yuta’s face. “I could get you fucking kicked out in a _second_. What do you have to say for yourself?” Renjun and Yuta have a shared moment of confusion before they both understand the gravity of Taeyong’s anger.

“Wait,” Yuta says, eyes narrowed and voice as dark as petroleum. “You really think so little of me?” Taeyong is taken aback by that answer. His grip loosens, and Yuta pushes him back. His own anger is building and Renjun clambers to get up from the bed, to get between them. “We’ve known each other for how many—six fucking years. And you think I would—”

“What’re you yelling about,” Johnny says entering the room. He looks mildly annoyed until he sees the two of them at each other’s’ throats with Renjun trying to push them apart. “Yo, what the hell is going on here?”

“The proof was there,” Taeyong shouts completely ignoring Johnny. “I’ve never seen him so afraid.” And Renjun has never seen Taeyong so angry. Despite his hands on their chests  
trying to push them apart, they still step to each other.

“You’re just assuming! Goddammit, like I could ever—”

“Guys, guys,” Johnny says grabbing their arms and trying to pry them apart. He’s more successful than Renjun and manages enough space for Renjun to get fully in between them.

“Stay out of this,” Yuta snaps at Johnny, but Johnny stays resolute to dissolve the fight. Renjun reaches his arms behind himself to keep Yuta from getting around and back at Taeyong. He slowly steps backwards, pushing Yuta away from Taeyong.

“It’s fine, it’s fine, Hyung,” Renjun says though he doesn’t know who he’s addressing.

“What?” Taeyong says in confusion. He’s staring at Renjun and Yuta like they’re a foreign sight, all fight gone from his own body.

“Johnny Hyung, it’s fine,” Renjun says. First, he needs to get Johnny out. Then he can settle the misunderstanding. “We’re fine, we just need a moment.”

“You don’t look fine,” Johnny says. Yuta is vaguely struggling against Renjun, but he stays put in the vice on his lower arms.

“We just need to talk,” Renjun says. He looks at Johnny with a determined expression. Johnny takes a moment to consider before nodding.

“I’ll be right outside,” Johnny says. He thankfully closes the door behind him.

“Taeyong Hyung,” Renjun addresses calmly. “Everything is okay. Yuta Hyung wasn’t… It was just a game.” Taeyong’s gaze is skeptical at best.

“You looked so scared.”

“Because I saw Hyung opening the door.”

“Then what’s… You were okay with him…?” Taeyong rubs the back of his neck and his face gets red.

“Yeah,” Renjun says. It’s weird to admit that he’s gay, and it’s even weirder to admit that he’s been kissing Yuta. But he looks at Taeyong straight on, so he can see his sincerity. “We’ve done this before. I was the one that started it, actually.”

“This… you’re… Are you dating?” Taeyong looks flabbergasted even as he asks it. Renjun considers the question.

“No?” He cringes at his own unsure tone. “We’re just spending time together.”

“Intimately.” Now Taeyong sounds like he’s about to lecture.

“Not quite.” Renjun bites his lip. He turns around to get Yuta’s advice, but recoils at the severe scowl on his face. “We just kiss and stuff sometimes.”

“And stuff.” Taeyong crosses his arms.  
“Hyung, this kind of isn’t the point right now?” Renjun says exasperatedly. “Point is, Yuta Hyung did nothing wrong. He’s never hurt me or anything.”

Taeyong is silent for a long time, an impassive expression on his face. He looks between the two of them several times. Then suddenly all Renjun sees is remorse. Taeyong bows deeply and apologizes. “I’m so sorry, Yuta.” He stands slowly and keeps his eyes on the ground. “You’re right. I don’t even know how I could think about you like that. I’m so, so sorry.” He looks up cautiously, eyes begging Yuta for forgiveness. Renjun turns around too, heart racing at the still-present scowl. He had stopped struggling once Johnny left, and now he appears like a statue.

“Get out of my room,” Yuta says in a measured voice bordering on quiet. It carries so much force Renjun physically takes a step back. 

“What?” Taeyong asks. 

“I said, get out of my room.” Yuta does not move or raise his voice, but Renjun is more terrified than before.

“Yuta…”

“Get out.” Taeyong looks like he’s going to contend, but Yuta’s tone leaves little room for argument. “I don’t want to see you, hear you speak, or have to talk to you anymore. Get out of my room.”

“Hyung,” Renjun whispers. _Don’t be unreasonable_ , Renjun wants to add, but he doesn’t fully disagree with Yuta’s actions. Renjun can’t imagine the betrayal held in his heart. 

“Renjun,” Yuta addresses softly, sweetly. Yuta grabs his hand and looks at him with no malice in his expression. Yuta’s hand shakes even as it’s wrapped around Renjun’s. “Can you give me time alone?”

“Of course,” Renjun says matching his tone. To his surprise, Yuta bends down to kiss him on the cheek chastely. He squeezes Renjun’s hand before releasing him. 

Renjun turns around to Taeyong. He looks pitiful, mouth hanging open slightly and potent hurt in his eyes. “Taeyong Hyung,” Renjun says in a soothing voice as he crosses over to him. “Do you want to go get ice cream? I’ll buy.”

Taeyong shakes his head, but he still lets Renjun lead him out. He shuts the door behind them slowly and starts taking Taeyong out of the dorm. Johnny is leaning against the wall a couple meters down. He stands up immediately and falls in stride with them. “What’s up?”

“It was a misunderstanding. It’s sorted now,” Renjun says. His tone is still soft while he leads Taeyong by hand. He looks like he might cry at any moment. “We’re going to get some fresh air.”

“For sure,” Johnny says. “Do you want me to talk to Yuta or anything?”

“We should leave him alone for the rest of the day,” Renjun guesses. “Maybe tell Mark he can stay with Jaemin or Jisung?”

“That serious, huh?” Johnny raises his eyebrows like he can’t believe it, but one look at Taeyong makes it seem plausible. “Yeah, okay.” He splits off from them at the main door. Renjun ignores the few members in the common room staring at them with a mix of trepidation and confusion. He manages to get Taeyong to wear a hat that’s by the door, a plain black one that could honestly belong to anyone. He throws on his own, pulling it down enough to vaguely cover his face and takes Taeyong away. 

“I’m so sorry,” Taeyong says once they’re on the streets. The din of midday traffic almost covers his voice.

“About what?” For lack of a better plan, Renjun heads to the company building. There’s a café in the basement where they can probably find ice cream and privacy.

“I don’t know. Everything.” His voice sounds like he’s not quite with Renjun right now. “I should have known. It was obvious wasn’t it?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say obvious.”

“No, I should have been able to guess it. You guessed it, didn’t you?” 

“How did—”

“Mark told me what you said.” Renjun sighs. Of course Mark reported back to Taeyong. “But all the clues were there. Maybe not about you and Yuta, but I should have at least known what was bothering him. Especially after I heard what you said to Mark.”

“Hyung, don’t beat yourself up about it.” Renjun squeezes his hand.

“It was so _obvious_. Why else would you two suddenly be close after the game? How could I not make the connection between the fourth member not wanting to come out yet and Yuta suddenly being anxious, especially about skinship. And after you said Doyoung was the one to fix it, I should have known.”

“It’s okay,” Renjun says. “No one is perfect.”

“And you,” Taeyong says suddenly looking at Renjun with an intense expression. “I should have been there for you to talk to.”

“I had Doyoung Hyung and the others, it’s not a big deal.” He doesn’t know where all his self-blame is coming from.

“I’m so sorry,” Taeyong whispers. “I’m so sorry either of you are afraid to come out to our members.” Renjun grips Taeyong’s wrist harshly.

“I’m not afraid,” Renjun says. His impatience comes through his voice and Taeyong’s eyes widen. “Hyung, chill. It’s perfectly fine for you to not have responsibility over something.  
There are so many members in our group who can take part of your burden. I mean, who hasn’t seen Johnny Hyung dealing with arguments? Doyoung Hyung can handle the not-straight stuff. He’s experienced there, and it doesn’t make you less of a leader to trust him to handle it well. I think it shows the strength of a leader to be able to delegate and trust the people following him.

“And, at least for me, not wanting to come out isn’t because of fear. I’m just not comfortable with it myself. I’m afraid of myself, that I didn’t realize this sooner. It has nothing to do with our members.”

“Injoonnie…”

“Stop apologizing. Hyung hasn’t done anything wrong to me.”

“I’ve only wronged Yuta,” Taeyong adds where Renjun stops. Renjun bites his lip and considers his next words carefully.

“I don’t have any advice for that. I want to say he’ll forgive you after time apart, but I have no idea,” Renjun admits. He slides his hand down to Taeyong’s and interlocks their fingers. “In the meantime, though, could Hyung maybe, if possible, please not tell anyone about what you guys fought about?” Taeyong is silent. “I mean, it’s embarrassing for everyone anyway, but also Yuta Hyung isn’t ready. If you outed him now it would destroy him. I don’t think he would ever forgive you.”

Taeyong sighs. Like Yuta said, they’ve known each other for six years. They’ve gone through the hardest parts of either of their lives together. They were trainees together, they were idols together, and even brothers together. He wonders what part of himself made him forget, if even just for a moment. “You’re right, Injoon. You’re absolutely right.”

His words were hollow, but they still brought some solace to Renjun. They falter in their steps when Renjun wraps his arms around Taeyong’s waist. “It’ll be okay,” Renjun says. “Give it a day, yeah?”

 

It’s been four days. Honestly, Renjun shouldn’t be surprised when Johnny comes to the Dream dorm to talk to him. Renjun hasn’t seen Yuta or Taeyong since the fight, and his messages to them have gone unanswered. The few texts he’s gotten from 127 hyungs asking vague questions also sit unread. Renjun doesn’t have the heart to lie to them anymore.

“Renjun, can we talk?” Johnny says standing in the common room. He had pushed past Chenle who opened the door for him and now stands defiantly. He stares at Renjun  
amongst the kids at the floor table.

“We’re eating right now, Hyung,” Jeno says far more care-free than Johnny or Renjun. “Jaeminnie made _tanghulu_ , do you want any?” 

“No thank you,” Johnny says. He pretends to be calm, but everyone can sense the urgency. “Renjun?”

“Yeah, okay,” Renjun mutters as he stands up. He detangles himself from Jaemin’s arms and stands. 

“Can I eat yours?” Jisung asks already reaching for the bowl.

“Sure, whatever,” Renjun says. He follows Johnny outside. Chenle gives him an inquisitive look as he passes but doesn’t say anything. 

The door shuts behind them and tears press against Renjun’s eyes. But he just crosses his arms and leans against the wall, staring at Johnny. “I’m not here to scold you or anything,” Johnny says looking him up and down. Renjun uncrosses his arms.

“What did Hyung want to talk about?” Renjun asks meekly.

“I’ll give you a rundown of the past four days,” Johnny says. He leans against the opposite wall like he’s settling in for a long story. “Yuta has not left his room at all—at least not during a time someone could see. The only person who has even seen him is Winwin because he tries to get him to eat on occasion. Taeyong looks like he’s about to cry or yell at any given moment. He’s stressed-cleaned every inch of the dorm three times over. Mark is sleeping in our room now because he’s anxious to go into his own, and he was hoping to offer Taeyong comfort. Didn’t work. Which means Mark is stressed now—I honestly can’t even sleep at night with those two in the same room as me. Doyoung is also beside himself, for whatever reason. The last time Taeyong cried was because Doyoung was yelling at him, asking what the hell happened.

“So, I’m here to ask you,” Johnny says with his serious expression set on Renjun. “What the hell happened?”

“Hyung…” Renjun looks away and blinks back a tear.

“Drop honorifics if it’ll make you more comfortable,” Johnny guesses. “At this point, I’ll take anything. We’re lucky we’re on break or the managers would be making this ten times worse. We all just want this fixed.”

“It’s not like I’m not comfortable talking to you, Hyung,” Renjun says. “I just can’t tell you.” Johnny sighs. 

“I texted Jaemin earlier to see if you were doing alright since you’ve been ignoring my messages. He said you ‘don’t seem to be in the best of conditions’.” Renjun looks back at Johnny but his expression hasn’t changed. “So, what are we going to do about it?”

“I don’t know,” Renjun says. “I don’t think I can help.”

“Have you tried talking to Yuta?”

“He’s read my messages, but he hasn’t responded.”

“I mean talking to him.” Johnny takes a break to roll his eyes and tease, “you kids and your technology.”

“Sorry, grandfather,” Renjun says back, though his heart isn’t in it. 

“But seriously. Try talking to him.” Renjun bites his lip. “Are you scared he’ll ignore you? He’s ignoring everyone so don’t take it personally if he does. I just don’t understand what Taeyong or you did to wound his pride so much.”

“I didn’t do anything,” Renjun whispers. “It was Mark’s fault.”

“What the hell did Mark do?” Johnny asks astonished.

“Nothing,” Renjun says with a sigh. “At least not on purpose. Yuta Hyung isn’t mad at him, I’m sure.”

“Tell me what happened, this is confusing.”

“I can’t.”

“So what do we do?”

“I don’t know.” Johnny sighs irritated and runs a hand through his hair harshly. 

“Renjun, I love you. I really do. And I love Taeyong and Yuta and everyone else in this dumb group. But if you guys are going to have this cold war going on, leave everyone else out of it. Except that’s impossible. So moral of the story, get this fixed.”

“What am I supposed to do?” Renjun snaps. Johnny looks taken aback. “Sorry,” Renjun says quickly. “I’m…”

“Yeah. Me too.” They take a moment to collect their thoughts. “I don’t want whatever happened to cause this type of tension. I understand not having any ideas for this. God, if I knew how I’d do it in a heartbeat. If you think of anything, text me?”

“Yeah, of course,” Renjun whispers. He crosses his arms again, this time not for defiance but instead for comfort. 

“Are you sure there’s nothing you can tell me?” Renjun shakes his head. “Not even whatever Yuta was upset about before?”

“It’s not my business to say,” Renjun says. He immediately regrets the word choice because it’s exactly how Jungwoo avoided the question about who the closeted members were. Renjun sees a little lightbulb go off in Johnny’s head. Even if he hasn’t made the connection yet, he has all the tools to do so now. 

“I’ll text you if I think of something,” Renjun says quickly. He stands up straight and turns to the door.

“Thanks,” Johnny calls after, but he sounds preoccupied. Renjun slams the door behind him. 

He can’t believe that after three months, he finally failed, and at the worst possible time. Renjun wants to text Yuta, give him warning at least and explain how it was an accident. “You okay?” Jaemin asks.

Renjun’s gaze snaps up. The other members watch him with concern. He wonders how he must look right now, on the edge of panic. Renjun collects himself and tries to smile. “Yeah, I’m fine. Is there any _tanghulu_ left?” A couple bites in Jaemin’s bowl is all that remains, but he doesn’t hesitate to slide it towards Renjun.

 

Another four days go by when Renjun wakes up to a text from Mark. He had half a mind to ignore it like the rest, but Johnny’s words of Mark’s distress echo in his head. After the recent hell, he owes it to his leader to fill his request and come over to their dorm. Mark’s second text, suggesting he come as soon as possible, is only a little more disconcerting. 

Renjun’s fist barely hits the door once before Mark is opening it. “Hey,” Mark greets breathless, his tone a strange mix of excitement and anxiety. Renjun steps in and hears loud voices.

“No, I get it,” Yuta says clearly pissed off. “I don’t deserve basic decency anymore since I’m such an awful person.” Several sighs drift into the common room.

“ _Dammit_ ,” Taeyong replies. Mark quickly gestures Renjun to walk into the kitchen.

“This is the first time he’s left his room,” Mark whispers. “Honestly, I think he did it just to pick a fight.” He wouldn’t be surprised if he was right. Renjun steels himself and enters the kitchen followed by Mark. 

“You know I don’t think of you like that!” Taeyong says.

“So how do you think of me then? Am I a monster in your eyes?” Yuta sounds angry, but Renjun also hears pain in his voice. 

Most of the 127 members are at the table, clearly in the middle of breakfast. They look insurmountably uncomfortable as Taeyong and Yuta argue from opposite sides of the room. Taeyong is facing away from them, staring at the counter with a dish rag crumpled up in his hand.

“I made a mistake,” Taeyong says much quieter than before, his voice cracking on the end. “Yuta, _please_.” His head is bowed and Renjun’s heart hurts for him as much as it does for Yuta.

Yuta is quiet for a moment. His posture is still defiant, but it also holds hesitation. Renjun doesn’t want to wait for Yuta to say the wrong thing, so he steps into his line of vision. “Yuta Hyung,” Renjun greets. Everyone is shocked at his voice, having not seen him come in.

“Renjun,” Yuta says in confusion. “What are—” Renjun reaches for his hand, but Yuta pulls away as if he was burned. He stares over Renjun’s shoulder at Taeyong, who’s watching them attentively, eyes shining from the tears. Yuta turns away and marches out of the kitchen before Renjun can say anything more.

“Sorry,” Mark says once they hear his door slam shut. “It thought it might help.”

“It’s okay,” Renjun says with a sigh. “I’ll see if he’ll want to talk in private.” But first he turns to Taeyong. “Are you okay, Hyung?” Taeyong’s expression is enough for Renjun to realize he asked the wrong question. He lets Taeyong respond with silence. “I’ll go check on him.”

“Good luck,” Sicheng tells him. The other members nod earnestly. Renjun feels weight on his shoulders, but he accepts it. It’s time to handle this once and for all. 

The walk to Yuta’s dorm seems impossibly long. He trudges along, taking his time to look at the pictures on the wall, secured only with tape because no one cared to buy frames. Group photos of the units and various selcas mounted beside each other to cover nearly the entire stretch of wall between the common room and the first door. Renjun sees a photo on the edge of the glossy mass, showing him leaning against Taeyong when he was comforting him and eating chocolate. Right beside it is a photo of him and Yuta, Yuta’s arm around his shoulder and a brazen smile on his face. How did he end up between the two of them like this?

Renjun knocks on the door and receives no answer. He counts to three to steady his breath before opening the door a crack. Yuta doesn’t send him away, so he opens it all the way and steps inside.

Yuta is sitting on the floor in between the two beds, his knees drawn up to his chest, head bent in between them, and his hands tangled in his hair. Renjun closes the door behind him and makes sure to lock it. He goes over to Yuta wordlessly and sits in front of him. 

His demeanor is tense, but Renjun is tenacious. Slowly, he removes Yuta’s hands and pushes himself between his legs. Renjun wraps his arms around Yuta’s waist and fits his head underneath Yuta’s chin. It’s a bit uncomfortable, but Renjun listens to the frantic heartbeat steadily slowing down. 

They sit in silence for a long time. Renjun can’t begin to guess how long it takes for Yuta to cry, for the tears to wet Renjun’s hair and run down the back of his neck. Yuta clutches him against his chest like he doesn’t want to lose him, fingers leaving indents in the fine fabric of his shirt. 

When Yuta has spent his sorrow, they pull apart. Renjun still sits between his legs and they hold each other’s hands. Yuta stares at the ground stubbornly and searches for the right words. “I missed you,” he finally says.

“I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner,” Renjun says softly. Yuta shakes his head, shaggy bangs getting stuck in his eyelashes.

“I pushed you away.”

“You needed time alone.” He strokes a thumb across Yuta’s cheek, wiping at the dry tear-tracks.

“I’m still so angry,” Yuta says bitterly.

“It’s okay. I can’t imagine how much it hurt.” Yuta’s shoulders sag, sudden relief flooding through him at the validation. 

“I missed Taeyonggie too,” Yuta admits.

“I figured,” Renjun says sweetly. He plays with Yuta’s fingers. “He really is sorry.” Yuta sighs.

“How could he have done that? Assume that I am capable of forcing sex on anyone—let alone one of own?”

“I don’t think that was his first thought,” Renjun says. “I think he just panicked. When he saw me, I bet all he thought was ‘I need to protect him’. You know how he is about that type of stuff, especially with us kids. His primary thought must have been that I was a victim, and the next logical conclusion was to blame the only other person in the room. If there was anyone else with me, he would have acted the same.” Yuta sighs again. It doesn’t sound as annoyed as the previous one. This sigh resonates defeat.

“I should apologize to him.”

“At least accept his apology,” Renjun suggests. “He’s been beating himself up about it.”

“I know,” Yuta says. “I meant for him to.”

“It’s okay,” Renjun assures him. “We can still sort this.”

“Why are you so wise?”

“Shut up,” Renjun says playfully. Yuta manages a small smile and Renjun’s heart raises. “Do you want me to go get Taeyong Hyung?” Yuta bites his lower lip.

“Sure… but can you come back with him? Sit with us while we talk?” Yuta asks, eyes on their interlocked hands fiddling in their laps.

“Of course.” Renjun leans forward to kiss Yuta on the forehead before getting up. He quietly closes the door behind him and goes back to the kitchen. An ominous silence dominates the dorm.

A soft string of whispers cuts through the silence as Renjun nears the kitchen. The rest of the 127 members are at the table speaking too quiet for Renjun to hear properly, though he can still guess the topic. Doyoung, however, leans against the counter, holding Taeyong against his chest from behind. He also whispers, small comforts to Taeyong most likely, who looks more at peace than before, though still deeply tormented. It’s not a surprise for Renjun. As much as they act like they hate each other, Doyoung is always the first to comfort Taeyong when he’s upset, even when he’s the cause of it.

“Taeyong Hyung,” Renjun calls. All the whispering dies off. Taeyong looks up at him with an innocent expression. “Can we talk?”

“Me and you?” Taeyong asks. 

“Me, Hyung, and Yuta Hyung,” Renjun says. Taeyong looks shocked, but he doesn’t hesitate to agree. He turns around to hug Doyoung properly before crossing to Renjun. Doyoung almost looks sad as they leave. 

Taeyong wrings his hands while they walk. “It’s nothing bad,” Renjun says vaguely. He wants to comfort Taeyong, but he also can’t apologize for Yuta. Taeyong gives him a nervous laugh.

“It’s a little hard to believe you, Renjun-ah,” Taeyong says. They reach Yuta’s door and Renjun knocks a couple times before opening it. 

Yuta is right where he left him. The only emotion showing on his face for Taeyong is sadness. Renjun hangs back and lets Taeyong stumble over to Yuta. He closes the door and leans against it to make sure they get their privacy. 

By an unspoken agreement Taeyong falls into Yuta’s arms, situating himself on Yuta’s lap and hiding his face in his neck. Yuta wraps his arms around him so tightly, Taeyong’s weight pressing his soul down into his body so it finally settles. He’s about to cry again, and Taeyong muttering only makes it worse.

“I’m so sorry, Yuta. I love you, I’m so, so sorry. It was a mistake. I don’t know why, I was so dumb. Yuta, I’m so sorry. _I’m very sorry. How could you forgive me, I’m so sorry_.” The last part makes Yuta chuckle, a sound that shocks Taeyong.

“Did you rehearse that?” Yuta asks. “Did you practice apologizing in Japanese for me?”

“No,” Taeyong says but it sounds like a lie, muffled against Yuta’s neck. Yuta’s smile turns more serious.

“But thank you.” Yuta runs a hand up and down the leader’s spine capriciously. “And I’m sorry, too. For being such a jerk.”

“You don’t need to apologize.” Taeyong pulls back enough for them to be able to look at each other. “I feel like I should have been able to guess what was bothering you these past months.” Yuta sighs. He looks away embarrassed.

“I didn’t want anyone to guess it,” Yuta grumbles. He shifts his legs and Taeyong gets off his lap, sitting beside him instead. Renjun sits on the other side of Yuta to give him  
support.

“Are you afraid?” Taeyong asks. Another sigh.

“No. Yes.” Yuta runs a hand through his hair. “God, I’m _so_ afraid.”

“Why?” Taeyong asks grabbing Yuta’s hand.

“I don’t know.” He tries to look away but finds no escape with Renjun’s questioning gaze on his other side. A deep breath. “I don’t want to be the one,” Yuta says almost too quiet for either of them to hear, even in the proximity.

“Be the one what?” Renjun prompts.

“The one to cause problems. What happens if one of us has a scandal?” Yuta turns to Taeyong and looks at him with intense eyes. “What happens if someone finds out I’m gay and there’s an article?”

“Yuta,” Taeyong starts though he doesn’t even sound confident in himself.

“Nothing good,” Yuta finishes. “That’s the answer. Your rumors would be nothing compared to that.”

“You don’t have to out yourself to the public,” Renjun says. “We just want you to have peace with the members.”

“The more people who know my secret, the easier it is for it to get told.”

“Our members aren’t going to be selling stories,” Taeyong says.

“No, of course not. But we’re so fucking careless with spoilers, how can I be certain this won’t get out? Our careers would be ruined. The whole group.”

“I think we’d do better with a secret like this, one that’s a little more important than music spoilers,” Renjun says. “And do you think anyone would be mad at Doyoung Hyung or the others if someone wrote an article about them?”

“We would be angry because your privacy got violated, not because you ‘ruined our careers’,” Taeyong says. 

“Will you at least consider it?” Renjun asks. “Coming out to our members?”

Yuta is quiet for a long time, staring at his lap. Taeyong and Renjun have a silent conversation across him, worrying about and anticipating his answer. Finally, Yuta sighs. “Only if Renjunnie comes out too.” Both turn to Renjun, his heart racing.

“I don’t know if I can right now,” Renjun says.

“Taeyonggie, can we talk privately for a bit?” Yuta asks.

“Sure,” he responds. “Take your time. I’ll be in my room trying to avoid everyone else’s questions until you guys have made your decision. Come get me when you’re ready and tell me what’s up.”

“Yeah, sure thing.” Taeyong gives Yuta one last hug before getting up. He leaves, shutting the door softly, so the others might not hear from the kitchen.

“Renjun,” Yuta says drawing him closer. “You encourage me to come out, telling me my logic is flawed, yet you aren’t ready to come out yourself?” 

“Shut up,” Renjun says. Yuta cards his hand through Renjun’s hair.

“Come on, what’s wrong?”

“I feel weird about it,” Renjun says. “Not that I think it’s wrong or hate myself or whatever. But it’s like confessing to my mother that I broke a plate.”

“Okay, weird metaphor aside,” Yuta says good-naturedly. “You’re describing feeling guilty. Why do you feel guilty?” Renjun groans and throws himself over his lap so he can avoid Yuta’s gaze easier.

“So touchy,” Yuta teases.

“Why are you in such a good mood now?”

“Not the question we’re trying to answer.” His hand is on the back of Renjun’s neck, scratching at the hairline and pushing up through the roots. “Why are you guilty?”

“I don’t know,” Renjun says.

“You’re really making me wonder about the consent thing now.”

“What?”

“When you think about kissing me or, you know, other stuff,” Yuta says. “Do you feel guilty?”

“ _Oh my god_ ,” Renjun whines covering his blushing face.

“Answer the question!”

“No, I don’t,” Renjun says. “I mean, I do feel guilty. But not because I think it’s wrong. It’s more like embarrassment?”

“So not guilt.”

“Hyung, my Korean isn’t good enough to explain this.”

“Your Korean is better than mine, try a different excuse.”

“I don’t know!” Renjun yells though he isn’t angry. “It feels private.”

“Hmm, not good enough. There’s no privacy in a group this large.”

“Fine,” Renjun mumbles. “I have no excuse.”

“There we go,” Yuta says sounding pleased with himself. He drums his fingers on Renjun’s back. “So shall we go tell the good news?” Renjun cranes his neck back so he can mostly make eye contact with Yuta.

Are we only going to tell them we’re gay?” Renjun asks. “Or about… this, also.” Yuta blinks his eyes. “Like Taeyong Hyung asked… are we dating?” He lowers his voice and Yuta can barely hear the end of it.

“Do you want to be?” Yuta asks back neutrally. 

“Do _you_?” 

“Maybe we shouldn’t tell them about this,” Yuta says. “We don’t even know ourselves.”

“Idiot, just answer the question.”

“I asked you first.”

“Ugh, fine. Yes. We’ve basically have been already.”

“So do you want to tell them?” Yuta asks. “I kind of want to tell them we’re dating. Just to get it over with. Stop keeping secrets.” He stares at the floor shyly and Renjun considers it.

“Why not,” he says even though he’s not fully comfortable with the idea. He might not like it, but he knows Yuta is right. It’ll be best to come clean.

They go to Taeyong’s room first to tell him their decision. “It’ll all work out,” Taeyong says sliding an arm around Renjun’s shoulders. 

“If it doesn’t?” Yuta asks.

“It’ll work out,” Taeyong promises with fire in his eyes that leaves no room for a different option. 

The trio heads to the common room, both eager and nervous to share the news. Taeyong goes on to the kitchen to round up the rest of the group. They were the most effected by all this mess, so they’ll get to hear first. The others will have to be told at a different time.

“Hey guys,” Renjun greets awkwardly once everyone is seated on the couch, the younger members taking their places on the floor. He receives murmured greetings in return. They’re all hungrily waiting the answer to their questions, but Renjun finds himself stalling.

“Short version is that Taeyonggie Hyung and Yuta Hyung have made up,” Renjun says. 

“Thank god,” Donghyuk mutters.

“What were they even arguing about?” Sicheng asks.

“Well, about that…” Renjun says. He looks to Yuta with a raised eyebrow. Yuta nods, though he’s still looking anywhere but at his members. Renjun has to hide his shaking hands behind his back. “The past few months, Yuta Hyung has been anxious about something. But he’s ready for you guys to know. So am I.” He can tell that a few of the members have guessed what he’s talking about or have at least narrowed it down pretty close just from that statement. No use stalling anymore.

“Anyway,” Renjun says having to look away from them. “Yuta Hyung and I are gay. Or whatever. We’re the fourth and fifth gay members. We like men. Or more accurately,” Renjun pauses to take a deep breath, “we like each other.” 

Despite his reluctance to do so, he scans the faces of the other members. They all look a little confused except for Taeyong, though Doyoung… his expression is something else. Renjun can’t place it, but it looks like he’s angry.

“We’re dating,” Renjun says awkwardly smiling and holding his hands up. Now everyone understands. Pure shock colors them and he can see questions forming on their lips. But when he looks at Doyoung again, his expression could kill.

“Like, boyfriends?” Johnny asks unsure. But Renjun is too focused on Doyoung getting up and storming out the door, slamming it so hard the sound resonates through the dorm. 

“… Yeah,” Yuta says staring in confusion at the door with everyone else.

“What’s with him?” Taeil asks.

“I don’t know,” Jaehyun says. He turns back to the newly anointed couple. “Congratulations, though.” He gives them an awkward smile and they laugh.

“Yes, congratulations to the newlyweds,” Donghyuk says seriously, clapping his hands softly. “Everyone, applaud.” The other members jokingly clap along but wish them well seriously.

“So the reason Yuta Hyung was upset,” Mark says.

“Was because he was worried about us knowing he was gay,” Donghyuk finishes. 

“Ohhh,” Mark says to himself. “Honestly, never would have guessed it.”

“Then what happened with Taeyonggie Hyung?” Jaehyun asks looking between them. Taeyong attempts to laugh it off. 

“To be simple,” Yuta says. “He doesn’t know how to knock.” They all laugh and Taeyong covers his red face.

“But that doesn’t explain it all,” Sicheng says. 

“Just pretend it does,” Jaehyun tells him. 

“So what about Doyoung?” Johnny says. “Can you can tell us why he freaked out like that?”

“We don’t have anything for that,” Renjun says. “He knew we were gay, obviously, but I thought he had guessed about Yuta Hyung and I dating.”

“Wait, how long?” Taeil asks. “Were you dating when we played the game? Cause that would explain a lot.”

“We weren’t,” Renjun answers. “The dating is kind of a recent development, but it was right after the game that we started…” he trails off and looks at Yuta who is trying not to laugh. “Yeah.”

“Started what?” Mark asks. 

Donghyuk leans over and fake whispers, “they mean _kissing_.” 

“Come on, be mature,” Yuta teases.

“How does that even work out?” Taeyong asks narrowing his eyes. “What is it, five years?” 

“I told you he wouldn’t approve,” Yuta tells Renjun.

“He’s eighteen,” Mark says. “He can make his own decisions.”

“If anything, he pressured _me_ into this,” Yuta announces. 

“Why are you like this?” Renjun says shoving him away. Yuta only laughs at him. 

“Wow, already an old married couple,” Sicheng says.

“It’s not necessarily that I don’t approve,” Taeyong says. “You don’t need my approval. But this is still serious since we’re public figures. I’m not saying you need to tell the managers, but maybe read that part of your contracts again, the part that tells you how to keep a private relationship.”

“Yes, Hyung,” Renjun says because it is reasonable. 

“Yeah, we’ll read it,” Yuta says.

“Thank you,” Taeyong says. “Now, I’m going to see if I can find Doyoung.” He stands up and leaves.

“Now what? Are you guys going to make-out all the time and do gross couple things?” Donghyuk asks dryly.

“Not quite,” Renjun says laughing at him. Yuta looks far more embarrassed.

“I say we celebrate,” Mark proclaims.

“Celebrate what?” Renjun asks.

“He just wants an excuse to eat cake,” Donghyuk says.

“Honestly, yeah,” Mark says.

“Alright, let’s go,” Taeil says standing up and gesturing everyone else to do so. “I’ll buy.” A chorus of thank-you responds.

“I’m on a diet, though,” Donghyuk whines.

“All the more reason to eat cake,” Renjun says. He throws an arm over Donghyuk’s shoulder and jostles him.

“Ah, how could you do this in front of your boyfriend?” Donghyuk asks dramatically pushing his arm off.

“Please don’t tell me this is how it’s going to go from now on,” Yuta says.

“Hyung, you’re blind if you don’t think you just handed me some quality content to tease you with,” Donghyuk says.

“Haechan-ah,” Yuta says seriously. “One of these days, you are going to get beat.”

“Today?” Renjun suggests with a smile. He steps closer to Donghyuk who flinches back.

“Yah, this isn’t fair,” Donghyuk complains.

“If you guys want cake, get your damn shoes on,” Taeil says.

“Should we wait for Taeyonggie Hyung and Doyoung Hyung to get back?” Jaehyun asks.

“Who knows where they even are or if they’ll be back in decent time,” Johnny says. “Just send a text so they know we left.” 

“Cool,” Taeil says. “Now out the door.”

“Hyung is so impatient,” Renjun teases.

“I said out,” Taeil says again, but he’s laughing. They all dutifully put on their shoes and allow Taeil to herd them out the door. Renjun certainly doesn’t mind Yuta casually slipping his hand into his. 

 

Taeyong had joined them at the café about half an hour after they got there. “Doyounggie texted saying he went back to the dorm. He just wants some alone time,” Taeyong told them nonchalantly. No one had a desire for further drama, so they didn’t rush back home. 

“Is Renjunnie coming back with us?” Jaehyun asks when they finally do head to the dorm.

“Yeah, I left some stuff there,” Renjun says. 

“Why don’t you get Mark Hyung to switch rooms with you?” Donghyuk teases.

“Shut up,” Renjun says pushing him hard enough to make him stumble. Taeyong frowns but doesn’t say anything.

“You act like we’re depraved,” Yuta says with an eye roll. Taeyong scoffs.

“Ah, what has our Taeyonggie Hyung seen?” Donghyuk asks.

“Nothing,” Taeyong replies evenly. 

“I regret telling them anything,” Renjun says. 

“Agreed,” Yuta says. Thankfully for the two of them, they reach the dorm and the group disperses. It’s only halfway through the day, but it’s stretched like an eternity from all the drama. Renjun actually forgets about the problem still pressing.

Despite having gotten his things, Renjun lingers in Yuta and Mark’s room. Mark had gone off to Taeyong’s room to get his belongings scattered there, so they were left alone. “It feels weird,” Yuta remarks staring off at the open door.

“Yeah,” Renjun says. “But it’s less stressful.”

“Much less.” Yuta smiles and saunters over to Renjun. He wants to back away in embarrassment, months of training telling him not to do anything with the door open. But Yuta wraps his arms around his waist and steps around in circles with him. He bends his neck down, ready to kiss him, when Doyoung suddenly catches their eyes.

He wastes no time greeting them before closing the door behind him and locking it. “Sorry to interrupt,” he says with no remorse. Doyoung’s back thuds against the door, and he slides down to the floor, knees coming up to his chest. His eyes are empty, and they look bloodshot.

“Hey, Hyung,” Renjun says softly. He shares a look with Yuta, and they both sit down across from Doyoung. “What’s up?” Doyoung drags his hand through his hair harshly.

“You guys are so fucking lucky,” Doyoung says staring at the ceiling. 

“What?” Doyoung sighs. He looks off to the side and blinks back the tears welling up in his eyes.

“I’m just guessing here, but you guys care about each other?” Doyoung asks. He doesn’t wait for a response before continuing. “You’re so lucky. To love someone and have them return it.”

“Hyung…”

“Goddammit, it’s not _fair_.” Doyoung presses the palms of his hands against his forehead, tears trailing down his wrists and cheeks. His voice rises and falls in cracks and sobs. “I’ve suffered for years, loving someone who will never love me back. And I was okay with it. Why? Because I had our members and thought that it would be enough. We aren’t supposed to be dating anyway. So, I loved him from afar, knowing he’ll never even _think_ of me like that.

“Except you two had to go and find happiness.” Doyoung lowers his hands and smiles ruefully. He continues quieter, softer and more stable. “I’m not mad. Jealous maybe. Jealous that you have someone to love. Me, I can’t even be friendly with him any more without it hurting. So I just push him away and make up shit to argue about. I push him away, knowing how wonderful, empathetic, and kind he is. Because this Hyung will never be kind to me the way I want him to. He’ll never love me the way I love him. In the beginning, I thought it was because he was pretty, but it’s so much more than that.”

The exact moment that Renjun and Yuta know who he’s talking about without a doubt splinters the atmosphere. The tension suddenly resolves and Doyoung’s breath evens out. His eyes are still red, but the tears dry. 

“Doyoung Hyung,” Renjun says softly. “I’m sure this Hyung still cares about you.” He feels so lost and out of his depth trying to comfort him. 

“Of course, he does,” Doyoung says with a bitter laugh. “He cares about everyone in this group, some members more than they even care about themselves. But he doesn’t love me.”

“Have you told this friend about your feelings?” Yuta asks carefully. 

“No,” Doyoung says. “What’s going to happen after that? He’s going to feel guilty and avoid me for the rest of eternity. He’s straighter than I am gay. It’ll only make things awkward.”

A suffocating silence falls over them while Renjun and Yuta try to grasp for a way to comfort him. Doyoung carefully wipes away the remnants of tears, collecting his emotions and baggage. “Sorry to make you listen to me complain,” Doyoung says.

“You shouldn’t be sorry,” Yuta says. “I can’t imagine being in that situation.” Doyoung leans his head back, arms hanging off his knees, and sighs.

“Yeah, well it fucking sucks.”

“I’m sorry, Hyung,” Renjun says quietly. “Can we do anything for you?” Doyoung shakes his head.

“It’s not your fault. There’s nothing to be done. I just needed to get this off my chest.”

“So, nobody else knows?” Yuta asks.

“No,” Doyoung responds. “And can you guys keep it that way?” 

“Of course,” Renjun says. “But Taeyong Hyung is still going to want to know what upset you, whether or not you want to tell him the details.” Doyoung flinches, either from the name or the idea, Renjun isn’t sure.

“I know,” he mutters staring at his hands.

“What are you going to tell him?” Yuta asks.

“Not the truth,” Doyoung says. He sighs one last time and rises. Yuta and Renjun are quick to their feet. They both envelope him in their arms, and Doyoung almost cries again. But his tears are spent, leaving him to only hug them back and whisper, “thank you.”

“If you ever need anything,” Yuta says. “I’m here for you. We’re here for you. Xuxi and Jungwoo, too.”

“I know, I know.” Doyoung smiles sadly. “But there’s nothing to be done.”

“So, Hyung is just going to continue on in pain?”

“Hopefully not for much longer,” Doyoung says. “It can’t be real love, so it’ll pass.” His eyes betray his own uncertainty. But Doyoung bows his head and thanks them again. They wish him well, and he leaves. 

“Fucking hell,” Yuta mutters to himself once the door closes again. Renjun shakes his head.

“I had no idea he was hurting so bad,” Renjun says.

“He didn’t want us to know. Maybe he’ll feel better now that he told someone, though. Maybe it’ll pass quicker.”

“Hopefully,” Renjun says staring at the door. Their world has shifted, but he knows Doyoung well enough to know that tomorrow he’ll act normally, pretend he cares for all his members equally.

“He’s right, though. We are pretty lucky,” Yuta says grabbing Renjun’s hand. 

“Yeah, I guess so,” Renjun responds. Even though his heart is still heavy, he matches Yuta’s smile easily.

“But I have to ask… Doyounggie said we’re lucky to love each other,” Yuta says. A blush rises to his cheeks and Renjun has to look away. “Do you love me, Renjun?” Renjun feels fire in his cheeks and where Yuta touches his hand and holds his jaw.

“Hyung was just being dramatic,” Renjun mutters. 

“Oh, c’mon.”

“Yeah. I guess I love you.” Renjun can hardly hear his own voice. He doesn’t know how Yuta hears it, but he squeezes Renjun’s hand like a lifeline.

“Good. Because I love you too,” Yuta says. Renjun can’t fight the smile crawling to his lips.

“Since when were you the confident one?”

“Since Taeyong dragged me out of the closet.”

“Don’t be dumb,” Renjun says. But he looks up at Yuta and smiles. “I should get going,” he says suddenly remembering what he was doing before Doyoung came in.

“Stay a little longer?”

“No, I promised to make lunch for Jaemin and Jeno,” Renjun says. He pulls out of Yuta’s arm snaking around his waist.

“You’ve never made me lunch.”

“Ugh, so needy. I’ll make you lunch tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow,” Yuta agrees. His smiles appear softer now, almost angelic, without the undertones of anxiety. Renjun’s heart skips a beat and he sees Yuta just like the first night they spent together, grasping on to each other in Mark’s bed trying to come to terms with their feelings, awkward fingers finding their places and lips prickly from chaste kisses.

Renjun grabs his things and goes to the door, hesitating with his hand on the doorknob. He looks over his shoulder. “Goodbye,” he bites his lip and takes in every inch of the man looking back at him, “I love you.” Yuta smiles, wide and stunning.

“I love you too.”

 

He had to cancel his promise to make Yuta lunch. He forgot that he already agreed to go out with the Chinese members that day. Though when he told them, they insisted he drag Yuta along with them.

“We’re the Asian Foreigners group,” Sicheng says in response to Kun accidently commenting on how it’s nice to have all the Chinese members together. “Since the other foreigners aren’t from Asia.”

“You’re forgetting about Ten Hyung,” Chenle says. Sicheng starts back tracking and everyone laughs at him. 

“Major Asian Powers Foreigners group?” Sicheng suggests.

“You offend me,” Yukhei says dramatically holding a hand over his heart. 

“Right, right, _sorry_ ,” Sicheng says. “Whatever. Chinese Members Plus Yuta Hyung group.”

“That’s a mouthful,” Renjun says. Yuta laughs beside him, his arm over his shoulders shaking with the sound.

“Isn’t Ten actually Chinese though?” Yuta asks. Sicheng throws his hands in the air.

“I give up! We’re just Six Guys hanging out. Better?”

“Our Winwinnie works hard,” Yuta says. He leans across the table to pinch Sicheng’s cheek. He swats his hand away, though he looks pleased, and Yuta replaces his arm around Renjun.

“Hyung seems happier today,” Kun comments. 

“Well, obviously,” Yuta jokes rolling his eyes.

“Renjun too,” Yukhei says.

“Wait,” Sicheng says, eyes widening and smile curving his lips. “Did you guys not tell the others?”

“Of course, we—” Renjun loses his confidence halfway through and looks at Yuta in question.

“Tell us what?” Kun asks.

“Didn’t you say you were going to text them?” Yuta asks. Sicheng laughs and claps his hands.

“You totally forgot!”

“We got preoccupied,” Renjun says before he realizes how that statement can be taken.

“What are you talking about?” Yukhei asks.

“Preoccupied?” Sicheng asks wiggling his eyebrows.

"Aish, not like that,” Yuta says rolling his eyes.

“Hyung, what do we not know?” Chenle whines. Renjun chuckles and gestures everyone to lean in.

“This is a secret,” Renjun says barely loud enough to be heard over the noise of the restaurant. 

“What?” Yukhei asks.

“Yuta Hyung and I…” Renjun trials off to let the suspense build. He waits just until he sees annoyance join the anticipation. “We’re dating.”

“Heh?” Chenle asks.

“What!?” Yukhei exclaims. Kun just looks surprised, blinking his eyes in quick succession.

“Seriously?” Kun asks in Mandarin.

“Seriously,” Renjun responds.

“Like, _dating_?” Chenle asks.

“Yes, now be quiet,” Renjun says switching back to Korean. “We’re in public. This is a members-only secret. The staff or management can’t know.” Yuta nods sagely, actually enjoying the incredulous expressions form the others.

“You guys are the other gay members?” Kun asks. They nod. “Huh. Would not have guessed.”

“We weren’t exactly leaving hints,” Yuta says.

“So Yuta Hyung finally got over his…” Yukhei starts. “What did Doyoung Hyung call it? Inner—inside—”

“Internalized homophobia,” Yuta carefully pronounces. It doesn’t look like any of the others know the word so Renjun tries to explain it. “And yeah. I guess so. Taeyong kind of made it impossible not to.”

“Oh yeah, what was the deal with you and Taeyong Hyung?” Kun asks. “Did it have something to do with this?”

“Yeah. It’s all good now.”

“Wow,” Chenle says. “Congratulations.”

“Why are you more excited about this than I am?” Renjun asks. 

“I don’t know. It’ll be cute. Like watching a drama in real life,” Chenle says. 

“Believe me, it’s been like a drama,” Yuta says. “Including the evil mother-in-law.”

“Ah, you mean Taeyong Hyung,” Kun guesses and they all laugh. “So who’s the second male lead?”

“Mm, Doyoung Hyung I think?” Renjun says.

“What, did he try to make a pass at you?” Yuta teases.

“Do you think you’re the male lead?” Renjun asks incredulously. He kicks Yuta’s foot under the table and everyone laughs.

“But seriously,” Kun says. “I’m glad you’re both happy. Right?”

“Yeah, we’re happy.” Yuta ruffles Renjun’s hair and Renjun rolls his eyes.

“I’m happy too. With all this, Yuta Hyung has left me mostly in peace,” Sicheng says. 

“Mostly,” Yuta repeats reaching across the table to ruffle Sicheng’s hair too.

The conversation drifts to other topics and Renjun feels sated. Yuta is warm against him and for once, there’s nothing to worry about. The others are animated in their talking and Renjun doesn’t struggle to laugh. Yuta feeds him bits of food, and he can easily ignore his members making jokes about them. Everything is perfect, warm and full.

“Hey,” Yuta calls softly when the others are distracted by fighting over the check.

“What?” Yuta leans closer until his mouth is right over the shell of Renjun’s ear.

“I love you.” Renjun smiles and prays his cheeks don’t get noticeably red. 

“I love you too,” Renjun mutters.

“What was that?” Yuta asks with a teasing smile, leaning even closer. Renjun shoves him away.

“Shut up, you know what I said.”

“Yeah,” Yuta responds pulling Renjun back into his arms. “But I’ll never stop wanting to hear it.”

“Say something cheesy again, I dare you,” Renjun threatens with a smile.

“I love you more than animation and Nintendo.”

“Ugh. I hate you,” Renjun says pushing him away again.

He’s unsuccessful in fending off Yuta’s kisses to his cheeks and neck. He laughs from the fingers tickling his sides and the others tease them once they notice. A part of Renjun feels embarrassed, and another part feels irritated at the public display. But the largest part feels content to be loved by and to be able to love someone as wonderful as his Yuta.

**Author's Note:**

> A list of things you will definitely hear watching an NCT vlive: “don’t overreact”, Mark saying a million filler words (like, honestly, a bit), being unfunny/“no-jam”/boring
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! Poor Doyoung, honestly, but he’ll find peace in the next part. Probably (???). The last installment of the series will be posted: October 4 around noon KST. It’ll resolve Doyoung’s, Jeno’s, and Taeyong’s story arcs. But only after they make a bunch of mistakes so please anticipate it well!


End file.
